From My Own Writings

I only begin to engage fully in life and in relationship to others as I learn to accept life on its own terms. I can never enjoy myself while desperately wishing my situation to be different than it is. Being resigned to the conditions in my life over which I have no control becomes my pathway to peace — my key to living "with a steady superiority over life," as Solzhenitsyn advised.
I am striving to live according to Helen Keller's wise admonition, "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows" — a particularly powerful metaphor since it comes from a person who could see neither sun nor shade.
To the extent that I really do accept the Master's control over both circumstances and destiny, I lose my ability to fret and fume because of any trial or difficulty that might arise. The noted devotional writer Oswald Chambers sounded an accurate warning when he wrote: "The will of Heaven will never be something that I simply learn; it must become a process to which I cheerfully submit, because when resigned to the providence of God, I will feel no undo anxiety concerning the outcomes of any efforts."
Putting aside negative attitudes and actions frees me to engage completely and with a cheerful mind in all parts of life and makes it possible for me to be strong and helpful in every relationship that I form with every person with whom I come into contact.
Pleasurable experiences are the frosting on top of the cake of a balanced life. If I throw away the "cake," I certainly will become ill in a very short time. However, on the other hand if I throw away the "frosting" of quiet moments and pleasant activities, I needlessly deny myself appropriate and God-given blessings.
I am grateful for times when I can exert myself and accomplish things for Heaven and for the good of others. However, I am also thankful for pleasant times of relaxation and fun. Both types of experience become satisfying examples of His blessing. Being able to "chill" sometimes — to just set back on occasion and enjoy life at an easier pace — is a spice that provides good flavoring to the recipe of a balanced life.
It is limiting and wrong-hearted to regard — even in the back of our minds — any act of charity to be a technique for self-aggrandizement. The actual truth is the simple principle that people tend to be generous in response to generosity.
We limit and even destroy relationships by trying to protect ourselves from people who we imagine will try to take advantage of us. By giving simply, freely, and without reservation I really do receive more than I can ever give.
My goal is to put my whole self into the processes of living — to be gracious towards people who commit unlovely or even harmful acts. I freely admit that I am one of the unlovely people I have to get along with. Don Huntington has caused me more difficulties than all the other people in the world combined.
It is only reasonable, if I love you as I love myself that I will then treat you the same way that I tend to treat myself. I am not going to gossip about you. I am going to try to view your actions in the most favorable possible light. I intend to leap to your defense every time I am given the opportunity to do so. When people say something negative about you, I am going to try to say something positive.
Life offers its best gifts to me when I am prepared to meet it armed with the right attitudes and appropriate behaviors. There have been times when I really believed that the whole world had an evil smell when the real problem was my stinking attitude.
My reformed attitude permits me to regard the people around me as being fundamentally good — and to look at problems as simply challenges that will lead to good outcomes by such things as teaching me lessons about patience and about using difficulties for my advantage.
We limit the degree to which our lives can bless others by not having an appropriate sense of humility regarding the limits of our knowledge.
We make a terrible mistake by violently arguing our version of the truth to the point of squeezing the higher qualities of peace, love, and joy out of our relationships. Some Christians argue as though the integrity of God depends upon our being able successfully to defend the Bible's truthfulness.
I am now trying to hold on to my opinions with a light grip. I am grateful for the immeasurable increase of joy in my life that has resulted from my still-partial victory over any need to demonstrate to other people that I am right about anything. Nobody can ever be truly joyful who hasn't learned with great good cheer to let other people be wrong — even dead wrong!
When people say things that I don't agree with, I resist jumping in to argue my own position. I cannot have real peace in my heart until I am able to permit people around me to be wrong without being upset by what I perceive as their error.
I have often missed opportunities to put my whole self into life, plus missed relationships through which I could bless others and bless myself simply by making the senseless mistake of offering upon the altar of doing what I want now the sacrifice of what I really want most from my life. This especially applies to issues of ethics and morality.
The challenge is for me to become sufficiently committed to achieving my goals that my passion drives me past the temptation to waste time and resources on things that don't move me towards my goal.
I am done with New Year's Resolutions. Once a year provides far too infrequent a cadence for setting rhythms and patterns that could change the habitual ways in which I think and behave. I try to reset each day — meditating on the thoughts that should occupy my mind, and striving to become again the man that Heaven, other people, and my family need me to be.
My positive attitude towards life and towards others is the product that comes from deliberate choices that I make every day. A Vietnamese teacher spoke an important truth: "Though we all have the fear and the seeds of anger within us, we must learn not to water those seeds and instead nourish our positive qualities — those of compassion, understanding, and loving kindness."
The poet Maya Angelou — whose life of sexual childhood abuse, guilt, and five years as a mute read like something out of a Stephen King novel — came to the point where she could write, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
We need to remain positive in the face of the most discouraging circumstance because, as Helen Keller told us, "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit." Each day is a gift from the Master; I will never permit the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison my attitude and plans.
One of the most effective ways of involving myself completely in the lives of other people is by listening carefully to them whenever they are speaking to me. The English author and journalist, Rebecca West, wrote, "There was a definite process by which one made people into friends. It involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time."
Showing people that I care about them can involve nothing more than merely listening to them when they speak. Perhaps qualities such as affection, respect, and admiration are basic building blocks for good communication since they encourage what must be the best attitude for a careful listener: "I am listening carefully to everything you say because I don't want to miss anything."
Some people are boring because they subconsciously use speech as a way of remaining disengaged from the people around them. The most effective method for not communicating with another person, perhaps, is to just create a flow of words that will deny the listener an opportunity to speak, drowning the possibility of conversation beneath a flood of monologue.
Three centuries ago, somebody wrote, "A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company." However, C.S. Lewis provided an important caveat: "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore."
Boring people deserve our love. Everyone at heart has a longing expressed by the appeal someone made, "You might not hear my words, but just look into my eyes and listen with your heart." Even those who bore us are sending us messages beneath their chatter to which we should listen.
My life moved into its current happy and productive state as I began to realize the purpose for which I was put on this earth — to lift others by my writing and by my motivational speaking.
My path led through a number of byways before I finally came to realize the work that the Master had planned for me to do, but I will not call them detours. The fact is that I wouldn't be the person I am — nor would I have the abilities that I possess, nor the wisdom that I have come to — if my life had been different at any point. The roads I have taken are more important than any goals because the journey wasn't leading towards life but was life itself.
The discovery of my reason for living has brought me to a happy place indeed. Helen Keller accurately noted that, "Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." The hand of the Master has brought me to this place in order that I might do something good.
I understand completely the Olympian champion Eric Liddell's comment, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." My particular purpose in living is intensely personal in the same way — a conviction that I have come to following years of experience, learning, and growth.
I share the conviction Oprah spoke about when she said: "I have come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint — and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you."
Everybody on earth who has learned how to genuinely put their whole selves into life is sharing the ultimate goal of being able to say with sincerity, "The world is a better place because I am in it." I'm trying to live in such a way that when I die good people will mourn by my casket.
No purpose for my life could ever bring me into full engagement with life and into healthy relationships with the people around me that doesn't embody in some way that fundamental purpose of brightening the world about me. Only by being good for others and for Heaven's sake can I really be good for myself and discover real joy.
My successful engagement with life and with living requires me to live above circumstances — throwing myself into the processes of life whether struggling with cancer or on vacation in Yosemite.
Each day comes with rhythms that renew and bless my life. How many times as I closed my eyes have I rejoiced in the realization that I had spent an entire day full of happy challenges and good people, without a single unpleasant moment in it!
My entire life has been a cycle that is analogous to a single day. The night of death is surely coming, but I am planning to experience my demise. "Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch about him, and lies down to pleasant dreams," as master Bryant advised.
I am so grateful that the cadences in my life — the daily, seasonal, quarterly, yearly, and decade-long rhythms — provide a never-failing source of fuel for my experience of joy. My whole life is a rock concert; I am up on my feet and I am dancing!
The pressures for changing my heart come through the problems that the dark emotions continually create — hurt feelings, broken relationships, and lost opportunities for blessing others and receiving blessings. The challenge has been to put away the dark and evil parts of my nature.
Someone told me that the only prayer I need ever offer is to ask for forgiveness, because when I am forgiven, the restorative power of God then moves me into the position where I can receive everything I need in order to become happy, productive, and prosperous.
Just as important as finding forgiveness — or more important, perhaps — is for me to come to the point where I forgive others. Forgive everybody! Forgive everything! C.S. Lewis correctly noted that, "Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing."
I can't control whether or not people will forgive me but I am in absolute control over whether or not I forgive them. How thankful I am that I can be forgiven whether or not individuals I have harmed are willing to forgive me. During those times when God's forgiveness is all I can have, than God's forgiveness is all I need.
"Forgiven people forgive people," so experiencing forgiveness makes it even easier to forgive people who harm me in any way.
The most memorable line from the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is the admonition that we should all "be excellent to one another." When I saw the movie, almost 20 years ago, I remember thinking that many religious people — including some preachers and theologians — would be better if they cast aside their weighty teachings and simply lived their lives according to Bill and Ted's simple principle.
My liberation came about through completely disassociating my sense of self-worth from standards of behavior. I am free now to confess that I am a flawed person, but I have come to accept myself with all my wrinkles and warts — both physical and spiritual — because Heaven accepts me that way.
I don't know why I can't take more control over my passions. Why can't I stop biting my fingernails, for example? Sometimes I think I am a little crazy. However, most of us feel that way at some level, if we will just admit it. Nevertheless, I am finally at the most healthy of all ego states, characterized by I AM NOT OKAY; YOU'RE NOT OKAY; BUT THAT'S OKAY.
My attitude is just the opposite of a quote I read recently: "I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am." Against that stands the magnificent observation by the writer, Anne Lamott: "Jesus' heart was not hardened against crazy people, or we would all be doomed. He was not embarrassed by craziness. He just said, 'Yeah, well, me too,' then He took care of you anyway."
I now share at least one characteristic with people like Mother Theresa and Jesus Christ: We are safe. You can tell us anything. We might cry with you but will never shame you. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Anne Lamott: "There wasn't a single thing that I'd do that Jesus would say, 'Forget it, you're out. I have had it with you, try Buddha!'"
It's only natural for me to love in the same way that I feel myself to be loved. If Heaven accepts me as I am then I would be both hypocritical and disingenuous to reject a single person. I have lost the ability to be critical about anybody.
The Shack is a bizarre book with some incredible insights. One of them was a comment by God Almighty — who appeared as a character in the book — that love doesn't expand; knowledge expands. In other words, the greater our knowledge of another person grows, the more about them we find to love.
Everyone has amazing strengths and dismaying weaknesses. As I learn about the failures and successes of others, when my attitude is marked by a determination to excellence, my love for them expands to embrace both their shortcomings and victories.
Real love means coming to appreciate people because of who they are and not in spite of who they are. The most obvious course of action for me is to treat people "excellently," which will perhaps encourage them to treat others, including myself, in the same way.
I never have an anxious minute because several years ago I ran across a piece of advice that instructed me never to worry about anything that I could change, but to just go change it — then followed it up with another piece of advice to never worry about anything I couldn't change because no amount of worrying would help anyway. No matter how bad any situation is I can either do something about it, or I can't do anything about it. In either case, worrying is useless.
If I measure wealth by the quality of my life and by my enjoyment of the things I do every day, then I am as wealthy as a king. An important part of my enjoyment of life is my determination to never operate out of distracting worry or enervating fears about the future.
Focusing on the present and eliminating fears or even avoiding undue expectations about the future frees me to make mistakes. "While one person hesitates because he feels inferior," someone said, "the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior."
A healthy focus on present activities doesn't preclude appropriate planning. However, focusing on the present relieves me of the limitations that fear will always impose upon my actions and choices. "You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life," someone said, "and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live."
We should leap whole-heartedly into our tasks, discounting our fears and confronting challenges with the same exuberance as displayed by the young rebel soldier in the Civil War who leaped out of his trench at the beginning of a battle, shouting at his comrades, "Let's go, boys! I am going to kill as many of them as they kill of me."
I continually feel like I am receiving the blessing promised by God, "Open your mouth wide and I will fill it." I open myself fully to the grace of Heaven and in return Heaven is filling my life with good things.
Like most people, I have had a difficult time coping with personal failures. Keeping record of low and contemptible things I have done in the past inhibits me from performing up to my natural levels as a productive happy human being, which I believe to be the birthright of every human being.
Joyful exuberance is the condition I will come to as I cease being turned aside by memories of negative personal experiences. This deliverance occurs by simply receiving the grace that comes following frank confrontation with the problem, and simply letting go — dropping the dreadful load at the Master's feet.
I am no longer greatly moved by others' opinions of me. My sense of well-being is not dependent upon the attitudes of anyone in the world. I am able to maintain Kipling's ideal that "all men count" with me, "but none too much."
Since I acknowledge my failures and shortcomings, but am no longer willing to let these things define me, my acceptance prevents me from defining other people by their own lapses, lacks, and limitations. I am no longer able to regard anybody with disdain but am willing to ignore any differences of opinion, conviction, or belief that I might have with others.
I no longer react out of my own libertarian bias to any liberal I meet. I won't respond from any disapproving heterosexual convictions I might have towards any gay person. I refuse to let my Protestant convictions stand between myself and any devout Catholic, Mormon, Jew, Muslim, or even atheist.
I will no longer permit my passionate conviction about the inclusive nature of the moral universe to interfere with my willingness to draw any judgmental fundamentalist into the circle of people I love and cherish. I finally understand in my heart that every liberal, homosexual, bigot, or devotee of any religion is infinitely greater than whatever label he/she bears.
I am no saint. My wife will attest to the fact that I can sometimes be as crabby or thoughtless as anybody. Nevertheless, life has a sunny tendency these days. Living requires less effort; I am not trying so hard anymore; I am learning just to "let it be." The doors to Heaven are open and I am being drenched in the sunlight that pours through them every day,
"If you would lift me up," Emerson said, "you must be on higher ground. One of the greatest rewards for the "higher ground" I am on today is the pleasure of helping others join me, which becomes the best part of putting my whole self into relationship with others. In the words of an old proverb, we actually help each other "as iron sharpens iron."
Assisting one another in reaching our potential for goodness and self-worth by the simple method of treating each other as valuable human beings will enable us to get the best out of people by going to what is best in them.
I strive to treat others with the same grace that I myself receive from Heaven, because I have come to believe that, rather than observing my behavior and judging me for any mistake, God actually has the kind of benevolent expectant attitude towards me.
I have come to believe that part of the reason why the people around me are such extraordinary human beings is that I expect them to be excellent. The power of positive expectations is unleashed because treating them as though they can do good gives them the audacity to do so. They discover in my attitude a source of courage that enables them to live up to my expectations.
I have learned to carry positive expectations into conflict situations. When people become angry and shout at me, I console myself with the idea that they are "just shrieking" — that their anger does not reflect their actual feelings; that they don't really mean their hot words. In every case, my positive attitude is rewarded by a return to cordial relationships.
I am so grateful that part of God's grace is to treat me as if I am what I ought to be! His acceptance of me helps me become what by His grace I am capable of being. Moreover, He gives me the ability to treat others as they deserve to be treated — each as a creative project that He is carrying out.
The principle of using blessings to bless others is an essential one for anybody attempting to put his/her whole self into life. Counting my blessings is an effective method of acknowledging them as blessings.
Some wealthy people regard their wealth as a burden. The condition of these distressed wealthy people is made even more grim by their ignorance of the principle that they could be blessed much more by giving away their hoarded resources than by accruing them; that givers are more blessed through acts of giving than recipients are through acts of receiving.
As a direct reversal of the phenomenon of good things exerting negative influences upon people with the wrong attitude, the act of embracing everything as coming from the hands of a benevolent God who does everything for my ultimate good creates blessings out of terrible things that come to me.
Abraham Lincoln wrote, "I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me." Even more true of me than of Lincoln, I have little power over the things that happen to me and even less over the outcomes of those events. Accepting the limitations of my control over my life provides important protections against arrogance. I am not the captain of my soul.
The elements in my life that are beyond my control are like the affects of weather and sea conditions on a sailboat. The boat has no control over things like tides and winds but the skipper does have control over how the sails are set. By my beliefs, attitudes, and actions I really do profoundly influence the directions in which my life goes.
Putting my whole self into my relationships with others provides a great protection against outbursts of temper or any show of ill will. Lashing out at someone in a fit of anger, of course, creates a diametrically opposite effect of becoming the blessing in his/her life that is my constant goal for every relationship that I am involved in.
I have not always been perfectly calm. For example, I have had a problem with an irritable temper that bothered my wife for years. I have always realized that it does no good for my family or associates to see me out-of-sorts and listen to my bad-tempered remarks. I have never accomplished one good thing through any of my outbursts.
The Bible talks about the peace of God that "transcends all understanding" (Philippians 4:7). However, this kind of peace doesn't exceed understanding because it involves some complicated insight that is difficult to grasp, but because the peace surpasses expectations or explanations.
Storms and turbulence are as much a part of my life as they are a part of nature. If peacefulness had only to do with easy circumstances, I would usually be living life with a very unsettled, troubled heart. The peace that "transcends understanding," therefore, conveys an ability to find a place of calm directly in the midst of any storm that might come blowing through.
The Bible compares the presence of God to a large rock that affords me with protection from whatever spiritual and emotional climates that I might find myself subject to. He is a refuge to which I can fly when the storms of life threaten to overthrow me.
Because of His presence, deep within myself, right at the center of my being, there is a quiet place I can go to that cannot be disturbed no matter how fiercely the storms of life may blow around the edges — a calm sanctuary in the midst of any conflict or trouble.
I do not always enjoy the peace of God, but the refuge of His presence is always available for me to fly to. And these days it is becoming natural and nearly habitual for me to go there when the angry billows of some tempest threaten to overwhelm me.
People limit themselves and erect barriers obstructing the flow of good things that might otherwise come to them because they deliberately resist altering their patterns of thinking and behavior in order to accommodate the changes that are occurring in society.
I can't wait for the future to hurry up and get here! Science is making available for my enjoyment and growth more good things than I could take complete advantage of if there were ten of me! Even more gratifying is the realization that the technology revolution is only beginning.
I could no more imagine the things coming in the future than anybody in 1974 could have imagined Facebook, or an iPhone. Five years from now I am going to be experiencing things that I can't even imagine today.
My world today is full of things that previous generations couldn't imagine. And we haven't see anything yet. I know this depresses many people and dismays more. However, I am putting my whole self into the changes that are coming. I am having a great time! My wish is to be amazed by all this stuff. And I am!
All too often, I have most strongly believed what I least understood. Nobody who has taken a graduate course in philosophy believes that anybody can prove God's existence. It was impossible for anybody to convince me of error because nobody can defeat an ignorant person in an argument — and the hard reality is that from a purely rational position I didn't know very much. Still don't!
Since most opinions aren't based upon any good information, they are merely expressions of the people's particular biases and, therefore, come under the sinister observation of an old Hebrew proverb that "Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence."
The more I learn, the less certainty I have about the things I believe to be so. The frontier philosopher, Ambrose Bierce, once defined "education" as "That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding."
"You can't believe everything you see," they say, but I made a great leap forward in wisdom when I finally learned that neither can I believe everything I think. When compared to all there is to know, I really don't know much. Therefore, I am always fighting the temptation to believe anything to be true just because it makes sense to me.
I am sold out to the presence of The Master in my life as the source of glue that holds my life together. Nevertheless, by not having the slightest urge to harshly condemn, judge, criticize, or even argue with people, I am finally at the point at which I can actually love on them with my whole heart. What a relief it has been to come to this point!
Sometimes, when they come to realize the sincerity of my love, other people actually listen thoughtfully to the most important opinion in my life — the willingness and ability of The Master to bring good things out of bad.
Wretched people in this world fall into illness because they feel that the sources of their love have been withdrawn: lovers have left them, parents have abused them, friends have betrayed them.... They feel that they aren't being loved anymore but their real problem, in fact, is that they have stopped loving.
Love that springs from grace has an indomitable quality because the inflow of kindness has filled me to the point that people cannot escape my love. They are able to withdraw so that my love can no longer affect them, but they are unable to do anything that would lesson my regard for them or cause my commitment to them to cease.
The disdain that others might show towards me, although it is unpleasant, isn't complicated by any unhealthy sense of personal rejection or by reacting in hostility to the affront. My love for people who are themselves unloving and unlovable has an effortless quality because I am simply paying forward the love that I have myself received. I don't have to try to love them for who they are; I love them for what I have become.
Love begins with my family. My love for Rae, my wife, becomes less anxious and more healthy each year. I have become a one-woman man and that eliminates in a single stroke the difficulty, anger, and anxiety that otherwise would afflict me and drag me down.
Love becomes a power within me enabling me to do those things that make me a complete, psychologically healthy human being. Such love provides the ability to eliminate the frustration Freud talked about and, with complete health, to hold other people's hands on the way towards the finish line. Every day! Today! What a wonderful way to live! What a life! How healthy it feels!
I am making it my goal to get in the habit of being successful. Every day I am working towards my dreams and goals. I get out of bed with my mind full of the things I am going to do that day in order to work towards my dreams. It's important to develop these habits. "We are what we repeatedly do," Aristotle said. He then drew an obvious conclusion. "Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."
If the people around me come to realize that I am willing to put my whole self into relationship with them — that I enjoy serving them and will perhaps mix some of my tears with theirs; that I'll rejoice in their victories; that I'll be a true friend when they're needing a friend — then I can create a bond that will strengthen both the person I am serving as well as strengthening myself by acts of service.
I put my whole self into the task of helping others become whole and thereby become whole myself. Here's what The Master said (following the Message Translation): "Listen carefully to what I am saying — and be wary of the shrewd advice that tells you how to get ahead in the world on your own. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity. Stinginess impoverishes."
Habitually giving myself into the lives of others is making me a successful human being. The guy in the mirror has become someone that I can sometimes admire; a person whom I at last enjoy being with. Success in relationship with others often opens the door for success in other less-important areas including monetary gain and professional advancement.
The virtue of silence plays an important role in engaging in the works of God and in the lives of people in the world around me. It is too easy to drown relationships beneath waves of speech, to kill genuine passion by thoughtless sentiment, to bury the tendrils of wisdom beneath half-baked opinions, and to destroy opportunities to bless by harmful pointless criticism. I have finally learned the value of restraining my tongue.
For years I would begin every morning with a prayer, "Lord, keep your arm over my shoulder and your hand over my mouth." When I first found this prayer, I knew instantly that it was a good prayer for me.
The knowledge, acquired through many personal experiences, of how damaging my tongue can be is one of the factors that helps to keep my words fewer and sweeter these days. People have damaged me with their words, opening wounds on my soul that I still carry. Furthermore, I have damaged other people with my words — harmed them far beyond the ability of any healing powers I possess to undo the wrongs I have done.
Words are powerful — carrying the ability either to harm or to heal. A paraphrase of Jesus' words by The Message Translation carries an ominous warning: "Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill" (Matthew 5:21).
We shouldn't believe an evil report about another person or especially pass it on ourselves unless we have a good basis for doing so. However, the older I grow and the more wisdom I acquire, the more willing I am to let people be wrong without my speaking about them to others even when I know "on good authority" how wrong they are.
I am trying to never listen to gossip about another person unless I am either part of the problem or part of the solution and can do something to make the situation better. If neither of those things are true, then I am trying to just turn a deaf ear to any gossip about others — just as I wish people would simply ignore any gossip about me, no matter how juicy it might seem to them.
I am sometimes required to intervene in situations with a gentle rebuke when a reproof might encourage someone towards good. If such intervention is not in order, then why not just keep the fact of the problem to myself? In fact, I don't even keep it to myself anymore. To the extent possible, I simply throw the knowledge away from my mind. After all, that's the way God accepts me. He has put my sin behind His back, the Bible says (Isaiah 38:17). So that's where I am going to put it for others.
I am determined to remove from my own heart feelings of superiority and cruelty that make it possible for me to enjoy gossiping about them. Gossip certainly serve to diminish as a human being the person I am talking about — why would I ever wish to do that to anybody? I can't remember the last time I had an unforgiving spirit towards another person. I can hardly remember when I last needed even to forgive another person.
Gossiping about another diminishes me as a person. A wise person observed that great-minded people talk about ideas, people with mediocre minds talk about things, and small-minded people talk about people. I expand my mind as I embrace the realities of the universe by talking about lofty ideas; I reduce myself to petty and contemptible levels by talking in denigrating ways about other people.
I restrict the quality of my relationship with other people by speaking ill of them. When I pass on salacious gossip that I have heard, then I necessarily reduce my ability to love the people and to receive their love. Since that's the case, I intend to do nothing whatsoever to diminish my capacity for loving others and receiving their love. I intend to not participate in gossiping.
but when I put down another person by saying some pointlessly bad thing about them, or even listening to such a report, then I am being false to my convictions and to my intentions. A grace from Heaven enables me to accept people the way I find them — the way I am, myself, accepted. It would be inappropriate to ever enjoy any opportunity of speaking ill of another person who might be in need of forgiveness.
My life is filled each day by an unfailing source of energy empowering me for both psychic renewal and spiritual growth. I have a better source of power! It would be both tragic and foolish to run out of energy in spite of the fact that the resources of the moral and spiritual universe — of Almighty God himself — are always at hand. The great thing I have come to understand is that I am awash in a sea of grace. I have also come to believe that the grace of Heaven is like a divine infection. It's a socially transmitted disease; we catch it from each other.
A dynamic moral potentiality is surrounding me like a cloud. A powerful source of energy, renewal, and health that is both acquired and dispensed through performing little gracious acts. A power is being exerted within me that boosts me into a sun-filled life. This source of power is greater than all the dark forces that had been bringing me down; greater than the dark forces trying to drain me.
Almighty God offers boundless resources for guiding my course and for blessing me through His Presence and especially through the people that come surging into my life every day. I am so grateful to be connected today to these resources!
Highly opinionated people tend to dismiss with scorn ideas that they have never investigated. The people I attended church with entertained no doubts concerning the truthfulness of their opinions. Charles Darwin belonged firmly on the side of Satan as far as everyone in my church was concerned, even though most of them had never met anybody who had actually read Origin of Species.
I can only force people and ideas into pre-conceived pigeonholes by refusing to engage with them. My opinion about Darwin changed completely when I finally read Origin of Species. My opinions about homosexuals changed completely when I actually became friends with some gay people. My attitude towards atheists changed when I actually got to know some atheists on a personal level. My attitude towards Mormons�. I could go on-and-on.
I am following Lord Bacon's wise advice, "Read not to contradict and refute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider." Critical thinking opens my mind and heart to good things, because I grow and change as I engage with ideas that are different than my own.
I am no longer willing to challenge the accuracy of any theory or doctrine until I am able to understand the mindset and perspective of the people who adhere to it. Until reaching that point, the only wise response is to simply admit my ignorance — never rejecting any opinion simply because it is in disagreement with views that I already hold.
How much different life is than could ever be predicted by a non-participating observer! Steven Hawking is living in circumstances that many would consider a living death. However, Hawking maintains that his disease awoke him to beauty and meaning, rousing him to awareness of the world and to a sense of contentment and anticipation. A magnificent surmise finally begins to grow in our conscience that the experience of genuine quality in life always depends upon attitude and never upon circumstance.
Troubles are going to come to all of us whether or not we are willing for them to come. The happiest people are not those who have no problems, but are those who have encountered difficulties and even tragedies and have overcome them. These cheerful people have learned with the Irish novelist and songwriter, Samuel Lover, that "circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise."
We shouldn't imagine that we require trials and calamities in order to be happy. We can find good things in bad situations, but the actual reality, as C.S. Lewis pointed out, is that "whether for good or ill, one's inner state seems to have so little connection with the circumstances."
I enjoy peacefulness, harmony, and comfort as regular conditions of my life. I wish things could be even easier, that I had more money, and that people were easier to get along with. However, I can maintain peacefulness — or recover it, at least — because I have learned to maintain attitudes of peace and joy that do not depend for their existence upon external conditions or circumstances.
I have become too busy and have too much fun to worry about circumstances in the world that I can't do anything about, or even to worry about the condition of my body. I am thankful every day for my good health. Fretting about whether I am coming down with something or whether I should be dosing myself with some medicine or vitamin supplement�, now that would be a nightmarish way to live.
As with everything else in life, my response to such things as health and the condition of the world around me all comes down to my attitudes. Of course, terrible things are going on in this "veil of tears." Some day I will die — probably die hard. There are problems involving justice and the environment that I need to fight against. However, none of these evils has the power to overthrow my internal experience of joy and even delight.
To anybody born in a previous generation, things like indoor plumbing, modern hospitals, the Internet, and air conditioning, air travel, the interstate highway system, malls, Walmarts, DVD players, and hi-definition TVs would seem to belong to some heavenly level of existence. The problem — my problem — comes down to the fact that if my life is untouched by grace, I will be miserable even if I live in a time and place providing aspirin, the Internet, and flush toilets.
Helen Keller thoroughly enjoyed her life though she was both blind and deaf. My Grandmother Huntington laughed her way through cancer and terminal rheumatoid arthritis. Billy Graham maintains a smile on his face while dying of Parkinson's Disease. My friend, who was undergoing chemo for serious cancer, kept cheerfully working and playing in between the times he is in the bathroom throwing up. The Bible says that Jesus, himself, died "for the joy set before Him" (Hebrews 12:2).
I once read a report indicating that only 20 percent of Americans are happy. The problem is materialism. Only by putting my whole self into acts and attitudes of loving service am I am able to reap a harvest of joy and happiness that then comes to me from my renewed awareness of the connections I make with the people around me.
Many of us Americans are quietly desperate because we search for fulfillment in outward circumstances, which fail to satisfy us no matter how good those outward circumstances become. We consistently ignore the fact that the orbits of our lives must be circling around other things than food, clothes, and entertainment or we will always feel that life is meaningless.
Six weeks before he died, a reporter asked Elvis Presley, "Elvis, when you first started playing music, you said you wanted to be rich, famous and happy. Are you happy?" "I am lonely as hell," he replied. We might argue that a person like Elvis should be contented with wealth and fame. Nevertheless, I am sure in his more reflective moments, Elvis knew that of the three goals, he really did miss the most important one.
The only reason anyone would ever wish to be rich and famous in the first place is because of the belief that wealth and fame would make the person happy. The fact is, if you can't be happy without money and fame, then you will be unhappy with them, as well.
I am neither rich nor famous, but I am a happy person. I have discovered that the winds of grace that are blowing me through this world move me into good places. Happiness never comes as a reward for something I have done but only because of my putting myself into the position of receiving what the Universe, after all, offers as a gift.
The way to true happiness, in my experience, is simply to let myself be blown into positive relationships. Such gusts also blow me in the direction of joy-filled relationships with my wife, children, friends, fellow-workers, my religious community, and members of my extended family — all of them becoming part of "a great wind blowing me across the heavens," to quote a Native American Poet.
The Ojibway Indians had a saying that appeals to me, "I went about in pity for myself; and all the while a great wind was blowing me across the heavens." I am at my best when I am simply aware of the fact that the "great wind" is, in fact, blowing me; that in some wonderful way I am just along for the ride. And what a wonderful ride it is! How eagerly I look forward to the destination towards which the winds of this world are carrying me!
We engage wholeheartedly in life by indulging deeply in appropriate pleasures. The remarkable thing about jaded creatures you can always find in Las Vegas style casinos is the lack of pleasure the gamers apparently derive form their experience, as hour-after-hour they pull the handles on the machines that no longer draw from them any response other than stupefied fascination. Only by practicing the disciplines of goodness, self-control, gentleness, etcetera can we be set free to enjoy life to the full.
Developing healthy habits of fully and completely engaging in life provides excellent protection against the forces of monotony, world-weariness, and ennui. I can't remember the last time I was bored. As I became engaged in life I found the cycles of life going on around me to be increasingly more interesting; people became endlessly fascinating.
Developing a mind that is always happily engaged has diminished my inclination to get panicky or as upset when things go terribly wrong. I can sometimes keep my head when those about me are losing theirs, as Kipling advised. During public meetings and group practices when people are yelling questions and orders at each other, and confusion reigns supreme, I often find myself just doing my part, contributing quietly when appropriate, and not being tempted to add to the noise and confusion.
Only a change of viewpoint is needed to convert a tiresome duty into an interesting opportunity. God's grace combines with the fact that I am finally growing up to make my own experience these days conform to Gandhi's instruction that I be "vibrantly alive in repose" and "still in the midst of activity."
I am grateful for the possibility of changing my life. I am so thankful that the unforced rhythms of work and repose mean that changes tend in an upward spiral towards joy and harmony rather than a downward spiral to dissatisfaction and sorrow.
Years ago a wise man encouraged me to take "two-minute vacations." That was good advice! I now have experiences like that every day, it seems. It is important for me to continually renew my mind and my spirit by taking many "two-minute vacations" when I am simply filled with a sense of wonder or even elation at some item in my environment, mind, or memory.
I often feel the way that a colt kicking up its heels must feel. I enjoy the experiences with all my heart. Perhaps this hints at a reason why Jesus declared that the entrance into the Peaceable Kingdom is reserved for people who become like children. Maybe the way into that Place really is found only by those who maintain a capacity for wonder, a feeling of humble uncertainty, and a fresh sense of always getting started about the real business of life.
A remarkable phenomenon is taking place in my life: every year for the past couple of decades I could honestly say, "I have never had a more fulfilled, more joyful time than I have had during this past year." And for more than a decade during that time I had no steady source of income.
People who believe that they are immersed in an ongoing series of miraculous events are able to insert themselves into their lives with far greater enthusiasm and abandon than those who live as though the events of their lives were meaningless or chaotic. I regard my life as being the matrix of miracles composed of family, friends, the people I worship and work with, and the events taking place in my professional life.
The life of devotion I currently am living has opened my eyes both to heavenly interventions as well as to the activities of a Benevolent Universe working in me and occasionally even through me. The Bible accurately observes that "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him�" (Romans 8:28). I am convinced that these heavenly "works" are demonstrably taking place; new realities dazzle me every day. They surround me. Everything is a miracle!
"Things don't just happen — they're planned," somebody said. I have witnessed on countless occasions how events in my life that seemed negative or even tragic lead to wonderful outcomes. On many occasions, I came to realize that the negative event was necessary for the wonderful outcome to take place.
Each painful loss opens doorways to a blessed future. A fellowship of shared suffering occurs among people who completely embrace the negative experiences that come to us. I agree with Os Guinness who said, "We don't always know why, but we know why we trust God who knows why." Only with this kind of faith can I experience the miraculous growth and blessing that lies on the other side of any pain and loss.
Negative emotions and attitudes formerly had power to harm precisely because I was insecure in my own feelings about myself. I am finally becoming one of the mature human beings who fully engage in the processes of life and are no longer forced to live according to the bad "scripts" and dreadful messages that we all receive throughout our lives.
No lesson is ever taught in public schools more thoroughly than the principle that you are what other people think you are. However, I am creating within myself a chorus of voices supplying positive messages that actually build up my spirit and encourage me to engage in those pursuits that positively impact my own live and the lives of those around me.
Dr. Seuss hit a nail on the head when he wrote, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." How wonderful it is to actually live like that! I am willing to consider other people's opinions of me, but am no longer willing to be defined by them.
The inescapable reality is that not until I can perform a deed of service with absolutely no regard for what recipients will think of me as the giver, am I really free to do good to them as an act of genuine love. Recycling the garbage of other people's perceptions into powerful and affirming attitudes and actions provides me with a basis from which I can be a positive influence in the world about me and in the lives of other people!
There's a vast difference between what I think is good and what is actually good for me. I only discover the power of love when I am in a situation that could make me hate, only learn to pardon by being injured, only learn real faith when faced with great doubt, only learn real hope in the face of despair, real light in the face of darkness, ultimate joy only after sadness, and real understanding after great confusion.
Only personal troubles will really develop my patience. Personal failure is the soil in which my humility can grow strong. Pain and suffering are the experiences that develop my sense of compassion and sensitivity. The Master uses times of trouble to soften me so that He can mold my soul into the shape of His will.
The death of my 13-year-old brother-in-law, Rodney, created a sense of loss that can bring tears to my eyes even four decades after the fact. However, through that loss we all discovered by experience that we were held by hands that would never drop us. How else could we learn that? Going through cancer and the death of loved ones brought anguish to my heart, but they also provided energy for climbing to heights that I had not attained to before.
Good health acquires a deeper significance following a life-threatening illness. Belief in heaven has a more profound dimension when the believer's mother is there.
I have no martyr complex. I pray all the time that The Master will hold back dark times from me and from those I love, but my hand is in His for whatever is going to happen in this world.
I am increasingly more troubled by the hostile attitude displayed by many people against those with whom they disagree. Some of us can become enraged at the drop of a hat. Nothing is more American than being contrary. No matter what anybody tries to do, a group of protestors will band together to oppose it. The angry people might be atheists or pastors, homemakers or harlots, but they share the quality of unrestrained fury.
An old proverbs says, "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." Buddha agrees with the Bible about anger's bad effects. "Never in this world can hatred be stilled by hatred," Buddha said, "it will be stilled only by non-hatred — this is the law Eternal." A spirit of criticism and a spirit of serenity, like oil and water, will never mix.
Things surely are going on in our culture that I don't approve of, and that I work against and vote against. However, one of the things in my own heart that I work against are the feelings of hostility and the judgmental attitudes that my disapproval always tries to create. I have come to realize that all of my angry ringing denouncements in the past always pulled down my own spirit and exerted a negative effect upon the people around me.
I have finally learned to forgive people for their offenses even when they don't deserve my forgiveness (very often they do not), simply because I need a forgiving spirit for the sake of my own inner weather. Someone named Hannah More was correct when she wrote, "Forgiveness is the economy of the heart..... Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits."
An awful outcome of negative thinking is that it actually brings out the worst in the people I am criticizing. I am going to look for the good in people I meet however difficult the search may be, because that is the only way that they will ever permit me to engage fully in their lives.
How much more positive will be my effect upon the people around me if I approach the worst of them as though they were honorable, worthy human beings! They might eventually come to trust me enough to be willing to receive suggestions from me for changing their attitudes and behaviors.
A great deal in life depends upon focusing upon living simply, loving generously, caring deeply, speaking kindly, and trusting in my Creator because these activities constitute the mental and spiritual environment that both creates and supports a life that is lived large. These days I am looking up. My focus is upon people around me and upon Heaven above.
I am trying to live so that my conduct and attitude would win Einstein's approval, because he said, "He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed." Simplicity, love, concern, kindliness, and trust spring most naturally from a heart filled with the wonder and awe that Einstein was speaking about.
The Upward Path that I intend always to keep walking on consists of identifying the presence of The Source of direction and strength in my life and then committing myself daily to the divine will and plan as they become clear to me. An important part of this has been for me to make it a daily habit to practice the things that belong to a life of moral freedom — especially in deliberate reflection upon scriptures and upon the writings of gifted people
I am thankful for the relative lack of struggle and conflict in my heart as God gives me peace and joy as a gift. I have (finally) learned how to receive the gift and every day to spill it over to others.
I recently read of a wise mother who, when tucking in her children at night, would ask the question, "Where did you see God today?" They would answer by recounting the experiences of the day. I desire that grace might impel my life so that if those children had encountered me, they might tell their mom, "I saw Jesus in the thing that Don did." What in life could ever be more wonderful than that people could just "see" something about Jesus when they run into me?
How willingly would I even suffer to bring that about! How gladly will I do whatever "good works" of kindness and love for any lonely people that Heaven sends into my path today! Sharing positive passions with others is the best part of the Upward Path that I am walking these days.
The truth about the nature of life has been dawning upon me gradually for a number of years now, and I am still dazzled by it. The fact is that I feel like I started out blind and have gradually been gaining my eyesight.
Since we all relate to elements in the real world with imaginations fired by attitudes, perceptions, and experiences, I have begun deliberately to shape my imagination to the service of Heaven and of others. I am looking at the world with new eyes deliberately using my imagination to recognize the gifts that the Universe has scattered about me
The world unfolds about me each day in a new and wonderful fashion. I now notice great gifts that were formerly obscured by an imagination mired in pragmatism and literalism. I find inspiration in small things that would be overlooked by a heart not prepared to be astonished.
It would be possible for the gifts of God to pass me by completely unnoticed. In fact, they often did pass me by before I had sufficiently clear imagination to notice the blessings that were in my life. My attitude shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, "Joy is the serious business of heaven," as C.S. Lewis said. So why should I be amazed when The Master performs His "business" in the life of one who is ready to be an instrument of His peace?
The hours of each day constitute a lecture hall or a lab in which Heaven is trying to teach me lessons about grace and preparing me for eternity. In some fashion, I am being trained and tested for some unimaginably wonderful future. I am convinced that everything that happens in the sometimes-rough schoolhouse of my life becomes a learning experience.
Being pushed, tormented, and defeated provides me with a chance to learn something. Learning can seem to be drudgery, but one way to picture the experience is to imagine life as a dance studio and that I am learning to dance. In the midst of life's storms, I am learning to dance in the rain.
Like actual dance classes, learning to dance to the rhythms of life involves discipline and energy — sometimes sweat and pain. The popular culture surrounding me doesn't assist me with my dance lessons. Such things as schedules, to do lists, and various media work to mitigate any type of sustained reflection or meditation. A continual blurring and buzzing confusion reduces the possibility of establishing internal tranquility. Every day I am learning to shut out noise that interferes with my ability to hear the music of the spheres so that I can join in the cosmic dance.
I admit that I am a slow student in learning the Dance of Life, and am often clumsy and unable in many cases to get the steps right even after many times of practice. However, I am finally learning the rhythms of grace that the Head Dance Instructor is trying gently to seal in my heart.
I have learned not to merely accept people, but to embrace and admire them. I will be the friend of anyone who will permit me to do so. Norman Vincent Peale told us to, "Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow." I discovered that he was right because I have been throwing my heart over fences these days and finding deep satisfaction in the effort.
By opening my heart to other people I have become a happy person leading a blessed life. Grace has come into my life through a variety of channels, bringing me peace and happiness, together with a Divine Presence to take the place of that great wounding absence of a father when I was young.
I can only throw my whole self into life by understanding that I alone am responsible for my own success or failure. At any particular moment I am creating my own reality through choices I make. My destiny is a matter of choice rather than chance. Only by being aware of my control over my destiny can I rise to become master of my circumstances rather than becoming victimized by them.
I am immersed in and bolstered by wisdom and teachings from an unbounded variety of sources — including magnificent ideas from family members, friends, and co-workers, as well as great people who have gone before. I have a breathtaking view of the unbounded possibilities of the world because, like Sir Isaac Newton, I am standing on the shoulders of giants.
Every day I am astounded by the wisdom of others — always prepared to learn from them the insights, perspectives, and cautions that might steer my own attitudes and actions in profitable directions. I remain keenly aware that whatever wisdom and knowledge I possess derives from my reflection upon the tremendous network — the vast cosmic Web — of people who have brought me to this place.
Leo Stein made a perceptive observation that describes my attitude: "The wise man questions the wisdom of others because he questions his own, the foolish man, because it is different from his own." I maintain a level of skepticism that protects me from receiving anything at face value. I learned not to believe everything I think. Nevertheless, every day strong currents of true wisdom pass the filter of my skepticism. I am continually lifted by the intelligence and understanding of other people.
Rather than imagining that life is a solo performance, the little tune of my life becomes part of a vast choral production that the Universe has been singing since our primitive ancestors first looked up towards the heavens and began to realize that their lives were part of a symphony directed by some Cosmic Composer, carried along by every individual. The song of my own life blends with the voices of innumerable performers.
I have deep sadness for people who keep their heads down and their ears closed to the music of the spheres that is continually being created all around them. The tragedy has apparently been the condition of a majority of Americans for as long as there have been Americans. More than two centuries ago Thoreau made his dismal observation that "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
Some of us who go to church every week aren't actually good people. We have true humility — except that we sometimes are filled with pride. We have perfect tolerance — except that we sometimes pronounce harsh judgments upon others. We are the most kindly of all people — except that we are sometimes indifferent to the suffering of others. We are filled with love — except that we sometimes harbor hatred in our hearts.
Christians have a reputation of being angry judgmental people and we sometimes richly deserve the reputation. Voltaire wrote, "Of all religions, the Christian should of course inspire the most tolerance." Then he added, "but until now Christians have been the most intolerant of all men." One of the 20th century's most beloved Bible teachers, Dr. J. Vernon McGee, said, "There's nothing meaner than a Christian when he is mean."
Some of us Christians are even judgmental against each other. A Christian speaker, Joyce Meyer, once asked the disturbing question, "Do you know how many people come to church mad?" Then she added the even more disturbing observation, "And half the time they are coming to church with the people they're mad at."
Judgment is an effective tool for separating myself from another. Any temptation to look with disdain or contempt upon another — even when I don't say anything — kills the possibility of true compassion. To the extent that religion provides a base for cutting myself off from others, I have stopped being religious.
A priest named Father Ron said to a group of people, "What will save us in the end is not what we said or thought but how we lived with each other." I was moved by his words. Father Ron's comment wouldn't have made such an impact upon me except that he spoke them during the rededication of an Islamic Center after it had been rebuilt following a horrible fire that was set by anti-Muslim terrorists.
Entering into full-hearted relationship with God and with all the people in my life unlocks resources of power and freedom within my own heart. The Bible is full of texts about the power of unreciprocated love — as spiritual truths that any wise person can discover by personal experience. Buddha said, "In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you love? How deeply did you learn to let go?"
We speak about unconditional love, but sometimes offer mere lip service. I am in the process of loving people with neither caveat nor reservation; engaging with God above and the people around me with all my heart.
Life is beautiful when I engage with important issues by deep reflection leading to new understandings. At that point life becomes like a dance, moving me with grace through the various steps.
I am only able to put my whole self into life by avoiding any temptation to live according to tired principles and rules that my teachers, parents, or acquaintances handed to me. I grow and thrive through processes of experience and learning that challenge my belief system and even confront the basic principles by which I live.
"Truth" can sometimes have a slippery quality because any fearlessly objective approach to the subject continually involves the seeker in contradictions and paradoxes. Reflection can sometimes be an uncomfortable exercise, because unshakable certainty only remains possible by pretending some things to be absolutely true while shutting myself off from other apparently contradictory true things.
The one unquestionable truth by which I order my life is the fact that the universe is under control of benevolent forces that continually move me towards the light, if I am only in the place of being movable. I take time, for example, to reflect upon the reason for any confusing behavior that I had participated in that day. I make an effort to meditate upon the meaning of any surprising hypothesis that I might have encountered.
My greatest conceptual breakthroughs come in response to pain; my greatest insights result from sorrow or even tragedy. I grow as I embrace difficult experiences with both arms, not trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings. I learned some things about healthy attitudes through my bout with cancer that I could never have learned otherwise. I learned lessons about the comfort of God through the death of my brother-in-law Rodney that I would never have learned in any other way.
Change and growth come through reflection as Hegelian-like motions of synthesizing incompatible propositions. For example, the thesis that "I am healthy and well" encounters the awful antithesis that "I have got cancer" leading to the synthesis, "My cancer can't harm my wellbeing at this moment. Right now I am okay."
The powerful thing about facing the most terrible events with calm reflection is that negative stressful experiences possess a potential to raise me to a subsequent level of living that is deeper and richer than the comfortable position I began from. The power of reflection can use negative experiences as the means of increasing my wisdom.
Joni Mitchell's lyrical song, "Both Sides Now," captures stages of awareness that I have passed through. She sings of how her attitudes towards clouds, love, and life went from fairy tale like illusions, to a disillusioned state, to a final state in which she realized that those things were greater than she could comprehend or define.
My ability to seriously engage in life on a healthy and productive level requires me on each day to put behind me the mistakes and failures of the previous day. Every day I must rediscover sources of forgiveness and grace that will make it possible for me to move beyond the blunders and absurdities committed by others and especially by myself.
I must learn honestly to admit my failures, inadequacies, and resentments — admitting them first to myself and then before Heaven — seeking the sense of forgiveness and release that will make it possible for me to put them away from me.
Any act of receiving forgiveness provides a basis from which I can then forgive everyone else for whatever they've done to harm me. It is possible, perhaps even necessary, for me to engage in forgiveness as a fundamentally selfish act — forgiving people because I desperately need to free myself from the acids of resentment that will otherwise burn into my soul. And I do!
I deliberately pray every day, confessing my failures, determining not to repeat them, and then receiving the sense of forgiveness that Heaven continually offers to me. Only at that point can I then quickly put away any anger or resentment that I might have against anybody else in the world and experience the true joy that the Bible speaks about. "You turned my wailing into dancing," sang the Psalmist. "You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy."
The universe contains ugly and awful things, for sure, but the world is permeated by the possibilities for doing good and receiving good from others. The processes of confession, repentance, and forgiveness empowers me to deny permission to old habits that pull me down; to not keep repeating day-after-day tiresome and depressing patterns of personal failure and resentment.
Mistaken approaches towards Evolutionism and Creationism have worked together to create a matched set of equal and opposite errors because while Evolutionism attempts to elevate a scientific theory into a religion or philosophy, Creationism seeks to diminish theological doctrine to mere scientific theory. Both sides confuse the subject that they claim to explain.
Any assertion that the scientific method could be used to discover Ultimate Truth stems from bad science leading to worse philosophy. The only reasonable and ethical purely scientific response to philosophical questions about the existence of a Creator or purpose for existence is to say, "Nothing in science provides answers."
For students of religion to suppose they can form a scientific theory based upon religious writings is just as wrong as scientists supposing they can use the scientific method to derive philosophical conclusions.
Biblical literalists are just as wrong to imagine that God meant the language of the seven days of creation to be taken in support of some Young Earth theory as they formerly were wrong when they used the biblical language about the sun riding from one side of the earth to the other (Psalm 19:4-6) in support of the Geocentric theory — that the earth is the center of the universe.
The only reasonable and ethical response of religious scholars to the cosmological question of origins is to say, "Nothing in religion can provide answers." The creation passage obviously asserts that the Spirit of God is behind the physical world that we see — reflecting in part at least the Upanishads' teaching that birth and death of humans on earth or of galaxies in outer space are the changing manifestations of God.
I am grateful for the promises of the Bible that illuminate my daily life — glad to live in a universe full of purpose and order. I am also thankful for the advances of science and have always been fascinated by the power of the microscope and telescope to reveal things about the universe that God continues to create.
Neither lame nor blind, I wish to dance through this world amazed by the miraculous things I see around me, beneath my feet, and above my head. I want to live my life in perfect harmony with the One who inhabits them all. And by His grace, I do!
A necessary part of any full engagement in life has been for me to learn to accept whatever life sends my way — accepting the bad along with the good, and submitting myself to the reality that from my limited viewpoint I can't tell what is ultimately good or bad nor discern whether any particular event is, in fact, helpful or harmful.
I have learned to embrace life as it comes to me and to avoid the feelings of bitterness, anger, and disappointment that come from life not living up to the artificial expectations that I had for it. Uncomfortable things that come into my life all have a constructive effect when I face them with optimism and courage.
"Man needs difficulties," Carl Jung declared. Then he added, "They are necessary for health." When I contracted cancer I became aware of resources of grace that I had never discovered before; I developed a capacity to reach out to others that I had not previously possessed.
I no longer pray fervently that God will protect me from disease, poverty, or some other catastrophe. His Presence is with me to face whatever comes along and to completely embrace life however it comes to me. I find such steady composure to be more satisfying than health; more comforting than fame; more gratifying than wealth.
Acts of engaging completely with life, by themselves, seem to provide sufficient preparation for death. This was surely what Leonardo da Vinci was thinking when he noted that, "As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death." A person whose life is awash in grace prepares to die by being thoroughly involved in living.
Beyond the obvious task of making a will, it's difficult for me to think about actually preparing for death. I have a current will. I can't think of any other thing I need to do. I am probably as ready to die as any man can be without actually having some terminal illness.
Perhaps the approach of my final hour will trouble my mind and spirit because I was certainly shocked a few years ago when diagnosed with cancer. I am prepared to have some difficulty making the Final Transition, but I think that I am mostly finished with the process.
Death is just one part of the experience of life. My life is buoyed up by an incredible sense of being held by strong arms; guided by a brilliant light; swept along in a shining river. I am sure that the arms are eternal, the light is shining from Heaven, and the river's mouth is Eternity.
Every event in my life is part of a sequence leading to a wonderful conclusion. This being the case, it makes absolutely no sense for me to do anything except to express thanksgiving and praise no matter what comes into my life. "We rejoice in our sufferings," the Bible says (Romans 5:3). Not because we derive masochistic pleasure from our pain, but because we know that a loving God wouldn't permit any dark thing in our life unless some good would come out of it.
The blessed life of grace I live today has an eternal dimension. Someday I will die. I fully expect the actual, literal experience in that mysterious other dimension to be far more wonderful than the current, earthly experiences of my life. I am living life one day at a time, which is just the way I expect to live my last day.
One of the great insights that makes full engagement with life easier — or even possible, perhaps — is my full-hearted acceptance of the fact that I can't discern the ultimate meaning and purpose of the complex matrix of existence that I am caught up in.
Perhaps I have changed my opinions too often, but Bertrand Russell chimed in on this point with a sage observation: "A big problem in this world is that the idiots are convinced that they know everything and the intelligent people are full of doubts." He's probably right because the fact is that I have never met one fool who entertained the slightest degree of uncertainty about his/her opinions.
I am trying to be more humble these days about stating my beliefs, no matter how certain my reasoning seems to be. Also, I am trying to focus more on relationships — approaching God as a You, rather than as a He while striving to serve, respect, and even to admire the people around me. These acts and attitudes provide the fundamental basis upon which my philosophy of life and service finds direction and perspective.
I am grateful that I don't have to have an opinion on everything in the world! No matter how bewildering it is, life affords me plenty of opportunities to serve God and to love others! The effort of trying to rise to those opportunities always makes perfect sense to me and is enough to fill my life with meaning.
My confidence in my ability to define and understand "truth" has declined disastrously since I was 13 years old. If I have the will to put my whole self into life, it seems to me that I have crystal clarity concerning the truth about the attitudes and tasks demanded of me right now. That's enough truth!
One of the important qualities that make it possible for me to put my whole self into relationships and tasks lies in a continual reassessment of my viewpoint of life and of my understanding of what is true. I question everything. Marilyn vos Savant, who has the highest recorded IQ, once said: "I question myself more than anyone I know." Then added, "Some might consider this a weakness, but I believe it is one of my greatest strengths."
Even though I could doubt even the ultimate goodness of the universe as created and sustained by a benevolent God, I am continually reassured by my realization that, though the world is full of suffering, it is also filled with examples about the overcoming of it, as Helen Keller reminded us. There is plenty in the world around me to continually confirm my belief that the universe is ultimately benevolent.
I have discovered the world to be full of grace by personal experience; a Presence is with me to guide me; a Divine Companion who loves me and who fills my heart with love for others. I don't just "feel" this to be true. I question it all the time, but the response is one of continual validation. I am on a pilgrimage to an amazing destination.
Nobody who is confident about their grasp of what's going on in the world or satisfied with the quality of their own knowledge and wisdom can fully engage in life or put their whole self into relationships with other people. I am in a lifelong process of becoming constantly more aware of the limitations of my knowledge. The fact is that the awareness of my limitations is the beginning of wisdom because for a long time what I thought I knew prevented me from learning anything new.
Whenever I meet anyone who thinks they know a lot, I realize that they really do have a lot to learn. Because I can't learn everything, I must choose the things I will master, which necessarily involves letting go of others. Making that choice wisely is one of the most important tasks I face in this life.
Coming to true wisdom requires more than head knowledge. The wisdom that really informs my life and changes me always results from a process that embodies theories, doctrines, skills, and principles in the real world through application, testing, and confirmation. Only by such practical application can knowledge be driven into my heart and be converted into wisdom that will transform my choices and behaviors.
Sometimes I think it is crazy how little I really learn about the Master's ways and how poorly I actually practice His presence. The knowledge of the truth seeps slowly but steadily into my spirit. The tendrils of His ways are slowly poking into all the parts of my life. I am a slow learner, but I will never stop trying better to learn His ways with me.
My willingness to learn and the constant acts of doing so are essential parts of the process of putting my whole self into life. Coming to a state of smug satisfaction with my knowledge and wisdom would make me a useless person indeed.
People who put their whole selves into life and into relationships with others inevitably come to discover the power of stillness; they learn that some of the most amazing acts of communication are conveyed through nothing more than profound silence.
I read a moving account of a small boy who went to visit an elderly neighbor who had recently lost his wife to death. When the child returned his mom asked him what he said to the neighbor. "I didn't say anything to him," the boy replied. "I just sat on his lap and helped him cry." Saying anything would have diminished the effectiveness of his communication.
A pastor told me that he once received a chilling call informing him that an elder in his church had just killed a child by backing his truck over him. "What are you going to say to him?" his wife asked the pastor, as he was getting ready to leave. "If I have to say anything to him then I am not going!" he answered. We comfort each other in times of distress by our hugs and tears — not by words nor by any attempted explanations about the situation.
Silence and repose provide refuge for my spirit from the storms of my life. God himself communicates by silence. "Be still, and know that I am God," He says. Until I really do that — until I listen to the silence that surrounds Him and listen to what isn't being said — I can't experience the full blessing of God's presence.
Silent prayer can be powerful communication. When my heart is just too full for words, the communication of my silence will always be wonderfully effective. The Bible says that, when I am beyond the capacity for oral utterance, the Spirit of God will help me in my "weakness." Heaven enters my soul and speaks His silent message into my heart every day. I am learning to listen.
The more experiences I have the more I begin to regard life as being a matrix of miracles. Powerful forces from beyond our mundane world are continually influencing the course of our lives. The mother of a seriously disabled child wrote the insightful words, "I thought I would have to teach my son about the world, turns out I have to teach the world about my son. They see a boy who doesn't speak, I see a miracle who doesn't need words."
I see God's hand in the lives of my family, through the affection of my friends, in the faces of the people I worship with, in the events taking place in my professional life.... The life of devotion that I currently am living has powerfully opened my eyes — not merely to discerning God's gracious interventions on my behalf, but seeing Him also work in me, as well, and occasionally even through me. I am surrounded by miracles.
My life is less religious these days than ever before. Daily realities sweep away the importance of the words I use to express the things that are happening to me. "When we do the best that we can," Helen Keller said, "we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
The conceited person may imagine such things as, "I am a good person," but the truly humble person will be focusing on thoughts like, "What does the Universe want from me today?" or "What is the best thing I can do for that particular person?"
Perhaps a test for discerning the difference between humility and vanity lies in figuring out how good I feel about any praise or gratitude that follows my performing an act of kindness. In humility, I will neither look for, nor even notice particularly, if the person is grateful or not because of the joy that comes from being able to contribute to the happiness of someone I love.
The purity of my motives becomes suspect when I am too pleased by any show of gratitude too offended by any ingratitude.
The best way to maintain a spirit of humility while preserving another person's sense of worth in any benevolent act, is to tell the recipient not to pay us back for anything we do but to pay it forward — helping someone else as we might have helped them. The world grows sweeter and more pleasant by multiplied small selfless acts of kindness; by innumerable and unnoticed deeds of mercy.
Humility brings me to a healthy place where I can become a whole person. Only through joy-filled selflessness can my eyes be open to the miracles that flow about me. As Thoreau observed, "Humility like darkness reveals the heavenly lights." This is so remarkable! The brightness and good cheer of genuine humility is surely one of the most astonishing facts in this dark world!
Proud people, who are full of themselves, often display a sense of self-satisfaction or complacency, but none of them are ever truly happy, because their lives are necessarily shallow. Their worlds orbit around their own feelings and accomplishments so they can never step back and marvel at the works of God or the accomplishments of another person.
When night falls on the final day of my life, I hope I won't lie down until I am sufficiently humble enough to realize once again the wonders of creation — and the even more marvelous wonders of the ways of God's grace in this world. At that moment I expect my eyes to be open to gaze upon even greater wonders and my mind open to comprehend mysteries that for now remain inscrutable to the most brilliant imagination.
When someone has wronged me the appropriate course of action is to forgive the individual from my heart — if for no other reason than to maintain the sense of joy, serenity, and peace of mind that I ought to expect and even demand from life. Beyond that, of course, is the less selfish motivations of giving to the offending individual the same consideration that I hope and long for from people whom I have myself wronged in some way.
If I ever harbor burning resentment in my heart against another person, the absolutely wrong course of action is for me to pretend that those feelings are not there. The world's most famous proponent of peace, Gandhi, recognized the difference between genuine peace and mere compliance. "It is better to be violent," he wrote, "if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
I must strengthen myself in order to reach the point at which I am strong enough to forgive people for whatever harm they may have done to me. Such strength can come about through mental and spiritual exercises such as purposeful reading and deliberate reflection that strengthen my spirit — analogous to physical exercises that strengthen my body. Most importantly, it comes from my own sense of being forgiven.
Control over my thought-life is a fundamental means of developing strength sufficient to forgive people from my heart for any injury. I grow in strength by following a biblical admonition "�.whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).
The purest form of anger — and the one least harmful to myself — is anger that is expressed on behalf of injustice shown to someone else. I must confront acts of overt racism, abuse, or sexism with righteous anger by interceding on behalf of the offended individual but always with the ultimate intention of moving finally towards peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation if such outcomes are at all possible — always striving to reach the point at which I am ready to forgive.
The fact is, I can only fully embrace life by continually and earnestly pursuing the truth — constantly seeking to enfold anything that I newly discover to be true into the framework of my philosophy. I am continually rearranging my thinking to accommodate new insights that persistently come to me from a variety of sources.
I have come to realize that anybody who believes that they know a lot really does have an awful lot to learn. Even the most brilliant person among us is walking with an intellectual shamble. Consciousness of the extent of my own ignorance makes it easy to pardon other people's errors — or, with any kind of smug assurance, to even label them "errors."
The French Jesuit Theologian, Pasquier Quesnel, made the accurate observation, "The truth only irritates those it enlightens, but does not convert." I am trying never to be irritated by the truth, but to engage in the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom with heart and soul — willing to go with open heart and open mind in whatever happy direction the truth may lead. I don't care what the truth is. For all my limitations, I just want to know the truth.
The most important realities are those invisible connections that bind us to the world of the spirit — maintaining us in a matrix of existence that draws us into an unbreakable connection with our Creator and into inescapable relationship with everyone around us. I have come to the critical realization that the most important role my senses can play is to reaffirm for my heart those invisible realities that underlie the world that I see and touch.
Mount Diablo becomes most important to me when the sight of its looming presence lifts my heart to worship the One who made both Diablo and me. When my sense of commitment increases by seeing my wife smile, or my awareness of my role in the universe quickens by my grandchild's hug, then the things I see and touch actually assist me in feeling with my heart these more beautiful things belonging to the unseen world.
Showing mercy to others becomes one of the best ways of putting my whole self into becoming good for myself, for others, and for Heaven's sake. Mercy is the quality that is completely missing from every act of road rage, which is caused by people who are not able to be generous and merciful to the people sharing the road with them.
The fact is, it really doesn't hurt to show mercy. On the contrary, Shakespeare got it right when he wrote. "It blesseth him that gives...." I mean, it really does! How grateful I should be if I were able to experience Heaven's mercy to the extent that there is no one whom I wouldn't show mercy if given the opportunity to do so. What perfect freedom it would it be to not insist upon mercy from anyone in the world! A goal for my life is to continually seek to live at that level!
When we go to San Francisco my wife, Rae, sometimes carries a pocket full of change for the panhandlers. I am gradually learning from Rae to hold these people with the regard that I ought to have for everyone, acknowledging the dignity and respect that belongs to them as kings of the earth made in the image of their Creator.
I am beginning to realize that we have a wonderful gift to give to street people. Along with a dollar bill or a handful of change, we can give them the gift of acknowledging them as human beings. At least for a moment we can provide them an opportunity to be human with us. For that brief time we at least open ourselves to doing something to ease the difficult journey of these troubled human beings.
One of the signs indicating that I really am putting my whole self into the people around me should be easy acceptance of others regardless of their status or personal characteristics. I should be as uncaring of other people's shortcomings as I am hard on my own. No matter what terrible choices another person might have made, I can realize that I have done awful things myself — even if the results might not have been as public.
Our little acts of humanity serve to improve our performance as crewmembers on Spaceship Earth. Maybe the kingdom of the spirit comes not through the blare of trumpets or some invincible surmise, but through small deeds such as giving a homeless person a friendly greeting and a dollar. The Master once said that He was homeless so I am going to try to treat the next homeless person I meet as a king incognito. If I can't love perfectly like Jesus would, I can at least love others as Rae loves them.
There's almost no more direct way of putting my whole self into the consciousness of other people than to give them a big hug. I don't bother with a little squeeze, I hold people to myself and give them a chance to learn that at that moment I am giving them all the love that I have in my heart.
Some people think hugging to be childish. In fact, children naturally love to hug and to touch. When he was seven, my grandchild would hug cabin attendants when boarding airplanes and other children he would meet in the mall. He periodically gave hugs to everyone in whatever room he was in that made them all feel like they had been touched by an angel.
Hugging is not childish, even though the practice has some child-like qualities. In the moment of an embrace two people become like children for a moment, deliberately dropping defenses that we adults keep in place all the rest of the time.
I have discovered what an amazing place the world is, and have learned that it is filled with marvelous people. I nearly always go to bed at night with the blessed thought that I hadn't spent one minute of the day with someone I didn't want to be with, nor had I done one thing that I didn't want to do.
We have sources of power available to enable ordinary people like me to live on an extraordinary level. We find power for growth and fulfillment by working out the implications of the reality of our connections with the people around us and with Heaven above.
I am becoming a more hopeful person — one who is invigorated and inspired by challenges — possessing the ability to rebound from disappointments with no lessening of enthusiasm and hope — prepared to take advantage of every connection to be good, do good, or learn some lesson about goodness.
Nothing on earth can prevent any of us from achieving our goals as long as we approach the challenges of life with appropriate attitudes. On the other hand, when weighed down by wrong attitudes, no amount of resources, status, or advantages will enable us to succeed.
The foundation of my life is built upon character as I confront the most basic challenges involved in molding character by encouraging the qualities, virtues, traits, and attitudes that will enable me to discover my place in the world and to perform the happy service to which Heaven has called me and equipped me to perform.
The fact is, I can't be good for anybody without being good for myself, so when the Bible tells me to love others as I love myself, it implicitly gives me a direction to love myself. The fact is that I can only become truly good for others when I have the attitudes and actions that make me good for myself.
A distinguished rabbi and philosopher Abraham J. Heschel said, "Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." I am gradually learning the truth of Heschel's words. I've placed my life in such a position that my will could become continually bathed in the sunshine of grace, providing me with a firm basis from which to say a firm and happy "No!" to the dark side of my life. The sunlight of Heaven encourages this kind of control to grow up in my life; such Heaven-directed discipline produces a humble delight at being caught up in the wonderful, healing process.
The possibility of not criticizing my own shortcomings is made possible by the genuine love that I now have in my heart for other people. The Bible insists upon love in such exhortations as, "Now that you've cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your lives depended on it" (1 Peter 1:22, The Message Translation).
One of the reasons why loving others is so important is because it then becomes relatively easy to treat myself with the same positive attitude that I display towards them. If I no longer criticize them — always forgiving them instantly for any errors in judgment or evil behaviors, even when malicious — then it becomes possible for me to forgive myself for my own shortcomings.
If I am blessed with genuine self-love, which is neither narcissism nor vanity, I should naturally be able to extend that love to those around me through acts of charity and forgiveness. On the other hand, as I sincerely extend love and forgiveness to others, then I'm naturally in a place to love and forgive myself.
Love makes us helpful to others only in the absence of any selfish pride-based motivation. I am protected from vanity or pride as I deliberately make myself aware of the real source of, and purpose for, any good that I accomplish.
The reciprocating movements between loving myself and loving others provides the basis for the good life that I'm living these days. Whenever opportunity comes knocking at my door, I am unafraid to open the door and welcome with open arms whatever prospect for advancement is waiting there — glad to give myself "the gift of living well."
Someone said that with only 20 minutes of study a day a person could become an authority on any topic in 20 years. For example, if I could study Italian for 20 minutes each day, in two decades I could teach Italian on a University level. The greatest potential for most of us comes from practicing that kind of consistency.
My expanded life requires a quality of steadiness from me. Even more than being able to do good, I need to be good for the people around me — to be the worker that my partner needs, the father that my children need, the husband that my wife needs, and the man that I myself need me to be.
Persistence promotes progress. The demands of a moral and ethical life require that every day — from the time I get out of bed until I fall to sleep at night — that I strive with great consistency to be the man that I am supposed to be that day. By living on this elevated level over a sufficient number of days, I will lay the basis for a successful life — exhibiting the characteristics and accomplishing goals of which God himself would approve.
I am aware that being able to meet the demands of moral integrity requires of me a level of energy more powerful than mere determination. Nevertheless, I am finding persistence and integrity to be continually more effortless because every day my soul feels nourished by heavenly food; my feet again planted in a blessed place!
Many of us are inclined either to engage in a personal quest to acquire significance by our own efforts or, at the other extreme, to live in a false passivity in which we are pushed back and forth by emotions and circumstances beyond choice or control. However, I was created to be neither god nor victim. I am actually designed to be a household instrument — a vessel that can be filled with the essence of eternity, as clear water might fill a pot.
I am so grateful for the power every day to keep open a heavenly faucet and fill myself full of grace. I understand the words of James Weldon Johnson's old prayer about coming "like empty pitchers to a full fountain." That's the way I come! That's the kind of fountain I keep coming to.
My life kept getting filled and choked with the clutter and garbage of random existence. I often remained distracted from joy by the uproar of schedule, passions, or innate folly. Nowadays, The moment I realize that I have done something inappropriate to the principle of light that is in me, I usually seek restitution and strive to receive a fresh inflow of forgiveness that completely pulverizes any lingering effects of the darkness.
I have been on a personal mission of trying to become "a good egg" ever since I read C.S. Lewis' stirring words: "It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." Unless it hatches, any good egg will become a bad egg before long — and eventually will become a very bad egg indeed.
The more I regard the outcomes of my life as being within my control, the more effectively I can work on improving those outcomes. I am grateful every day for the positive energies that keep flowing to me; thankful for a principle of grace in my life that lifts me above the vagaries of both chance and my own personality. My life is marked by qualities like joy, love, diligence, and calmness. I am no longer young, but I say with Victor Hugo, "Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart." In spite of my calendar age, I feel new energies always coursing through me.
The healthiest people remain in pilgrimage mode — leaving behind the outworn past and moving toward the land of promise and desire. I continually have a sense that I am just getting started. The task of shaping destiny remains unfinished until life ends. The egg is always hatching, and I'll kill the life inside if I ever stop the process.
I don't know what my destiny will finally be in this world, but I am not concerned in the slightest. I can't wait to see what happens next. Somebody said, "I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds the future." That's a hopeful thing to know! Those are good hands for my destiny to be in! I can't wait to see what happens next.
Putting myself completely into life requires me every day to give myself into the hands of a powerful and loving Master, and every day He gives me the power "to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Philippians 2:13)
C.S. Lewis provided a magnificent direction that we must lay before God what is in us, not what ought to be in us. Dynamic impulses for positive living are forcing out of my life the dark influences that made me so helpless to identify and fix the things that were wrong with me.
My engagement with life has become complete and satisfying since I quit struggling with self-improvement. My sense of fullness and fulfillment is only possible in the absence of the frustration and hypocrisy that results from any attempt to attain to a goodness that lies beyond my reach or pretending to live by a standard that I don't actually practice!!
Fear, anxiety, and worry serve to push me away from life and prevent me from engaging in life with my whole heart. Worry never accomplishes anything good. Mitzi Chandler, a specialist on alcoholism, codependency, and child abuse, was exactly right when she wrote, "Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball." I never spend a minute being anxious because I really do believe that the hand of a benevolent Master is shaping the parts of my life — making things work out for the best no matter how terrible the realities seem.
My faith in a benevolent Supreme Power delivers me from worry, since any anxiety, in that case, would be an insult to the love and power of The Master I am serving. Fretfulness would reveal a fundamental hypocrisy; worrying would mean that I was trying to assume responsibility that the Master never intended for me to have.
My goal is to possess fearlessness as a quality that the great Green Bay Packer coach, Vince Lombardi, referred to as "mental toughness," which he said was many things: "It is humility because it behooves all of us to remember that simplicity is the sign of greatness and meekness is the sign of true strength. Mental toughness is spartanism with qualities of sacrifice, self-denial, dedication. It is fearlessness, and it is love."
I have learned that worry robs me of the joy and the sense of accomplishment that should rightfully be mine. Mary Hemingway, wife of Ernest Hemingway and an American Journalist, gave us some wise advice when she wrote: Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.
I might have a reason for worry if I spent my energy trying to force life down a path to a particular destiny that I had picked out for myself. In that case, my attitude would be marked by dissatisfaction and anxiety, and my days full of frustration and failure. However, if I commit myself to doing the things that Heaven leads me to do, then I really am no longer responsible for the outcome. I sow the seed; God brings the harvest.
I find the solution to worry and anxiety through the healthy detachment that occurs when I am unconcerned about specific outcomes. If I wholeheartedly work with all my intelligence and strength, then I am not going to be concerned about how things turn out. Life will play itself out leaving me free to focus upon the present — not feeling any guilt about the past nor anxiety about the future, but with all my strength simply doing in the present the things that my hand finds to do.
The surest way to detach myself from concern for the things that will happen to me is to attach myself to an empowering purpose that will foster the habitual service for others that will enable me to put away forever and fearfulness or worry.
A pastor once asked me how I was doing. I responded by saying, "Pretty good, under the circumstances." "Well, what are you doing under the circumstances?" He asked. I thought it was a good question.
Fussing about death and disease serves to constrain our imaginations, to limit our spiritual powers, and to stifle our creative urges. We are going to die; people around us are going to die. I am studiously avoiding the two mistakes we so often make at this point by not filling my mind with dark thoughts about death and disease, on one hand, and by not ignoring the reality of my own mortality and the mortality of those I love, on the other.
I think Heaven never responds to the question, "Why me?" about any circumstance that could arise in my life because the real answer, bound up in the rejoinder question, "Why not me?" is too obvious to bother with.
The process of coming to heart-filled resignation is eased by my daily deliberate acceptance of the deeper reality underlying all outward circumstances, no matter how grim — that my life and my times are held in Hands that will not drop me, no matter what comes my way.
There's a purpose in every passing circumstance, whether I can discern the purpose, or not. "Underneath are the everlasting arms." They really are!
If my life is filled with activities of service for The Master and for others — and if I am creatively engaging with the world — then I am able to live above the frets, worries, and concerns that otherwise would be pulling me down. I am in the cheerful place of being "too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night."
People might be tempted to feel sorry for me if they knew how many hours a day I spend working — or, more likely, be tempted to consider me crazy. The fact is every night I go to bed thankful because almost always I hadn't done a single thing I didn't want to do nor had I spent a minute with someone whom I wished would go away.
Remaining busily involved in activities that engage my attention and my passion might be one of the ways to help ensure my success in life. At least that was Thoreau's opinion, because he wrote. "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."
Lee Iacocca, the former CEO of Chrysler, considered energetic and enthusiastic activities to provide effective antidotes to conditions that might cause us to become discouraged or depressed. "In times of great stress or adversity," he wrote, "it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."
I continually feel like I am receiving the blessing promised by God in the Bible, "Open your mouth wide and I will fill it" (Psalm 81:10). I open myself fully to the grace of Heaven and, in return, Heaven fills my life with good things. By the time I finally tear myself away from joy-filled activities and go to bed, sleep usually comes like a blessed benediction — nothing to regret; nothing to fear.... Maybe this is the best thing of all.
I'm in the uncomfortable position of continually growing more educated on an absolute basis, but continuously more ignorant on a relative basis. And I tell you, either you know you don't know much, or else you really do have a lot to learn. Learn to accept your limitations. Accept the fact that you walk with an intellectual shamble. You don't know how big the Universe is, but you should know that it's bigger than you know. So live flexibly in this world.
Learn to roll with the punches. Teach people by word and example that life is not about "...wishing that storms will pass," as someone said, "but learning to dance in the rain." If you can learn to dance during the storms of your life, then you can get other people up on their feet and dancing along with you through the storms of their lives.
A preacher once asked me, "How are you doing this morning, Don?" "I'm doing pretty well under the circumstances," I replied. "What are you doing under the circumstances?" He said. Good question!
I love the honesty of Joyce Meyers. One day she pointed out the biblical teaching that "Trials bring patience." But then she added a liberating admission, "Trials brought a lot of things around to me before they brought me any patience." We should be travelers on the way to the Celestial City while encouraging others who are on the road. Don't pretend for a second that you're "arrived." Be flexible. Be bendable. Remain teachable.
I'm trying to conduct myself in relationship to the Word of God according to a principle laid down by a great 18th Century Christian writer named Andrew Murray, who said: "A readiness to believe every promise implicitly, to obey every command unhesitatingly ... is the only true spirit of Bible study."
It's fine to have opinions about. However, I've known people with such strong and conflicting, opinions about politics, religion, and behavior that they were willing to fight each other over the answers. They have come under Bertrand Russell's caustic observation, "The most savage controversies are about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way."
I've become a philosophical Christian and am no longer a Christian philosopher. Part of my being awash in the grace of Heaven is to not be too concerned about what God did in this world, or is going to do. I'm not too concerned these days about His Grand Scheme. My only real concern is about what He is doing within me and what He expects from me today.
Every day I pray with as much concentrated attention as I can that God will make me a blessing to every single person I meet that day. And to the extent I can, I follow through on that.
I've learned that you can never argue anyone into a blessing. A Scottish theologian named Alexander Whyte wrote: "Eschew controversy, my brethren, as you would eschew the entrance to hell itself! Let them have it their own way. Let them talk, let them write..., let them judge and condemn you, let them slay you. Rather let the truth of God itself suffer than that love suffer. You have not enough of the Divine nature in you to be a controversialist."
One of the reasons I maintain a simple attitude towards life and avoid arguing — and one of the 21 reasons why I'm not a pastor — is because I've never been able to change anybody's mind about anything. I'm in this world to be a servant to the people around me and not to try to straighten out their opinions regarding things they aren't asking my advice about.
Through simplicity let's learn to minister out of our weakness so that the strength is always His. It's His wisdom. And to hell with our opinions!
Life has become since I began truly to love the people around me! I hardly ever get upset with people any more. I never tell people off. I never get into inappropriate competitions. That kind of righteousness is simple. Aggression, competition, road rage, and trying to get the best of the people around you complicates relationships.
I believe the person told the truth who said, "For human beings, you need two hugs a day to survive, four hugs for maintenance, six hugs to grow." When I see somebody — whether a friend or smiling stranger — I put my arms around them and hold them to myself and some of them realize that during that moment I'm giving them all the love that I have in my heart. Only people with a spirit of simplicity toward others can give a really great hug.
Most of us who have been around the church for a while have known preachers who would take instant offense at any comment that seemed to bring into question the absolute correctness of their actions or attitudes. For some reason, such ministers miss the meaning of Jesus Christ's comment that leaders should stay on the bottom rung of the church's social hierarchy — that Jesus himself came as a servant. And servants should never try to pretend that they're can pronounce judgment against other servants as though they were actually the Master.
One test for humility is how well I handle humiliation. "We should mind humiliation less if we were humbler," CS Lewis said. I'll attempt to learn something from a criticism without trying to judge whether the criticism is called-for, or not. Because after all, I am a totally unreliable judge of whether a criticism directed against myself is valid because in those situations I am much too prone to give myself the benefit of the doubt.
To the extent I can, I won't strike back even if someone falsely accuses me of something. Instead, I'll console myself with the fact that I've done much worse things than whatever they are accusing me of without getting caught. As part of my own coming to humility, I am trying never to be defensive about anything.
When I am appropriately humble I'll attempt to apologize for an offense without trying to excuse myself. That starts with my wife. "You hurt my feelings with that comment," my wife might say. God help me if I ever respond, "Well, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!" Who cares whether I meant to hurt my wife's feelings? Ignorance is no better than malice when it comes to doing other people harm. The only response in that situation that is appropriate to a humble spirit is to say, "I'm so sorry I said that. Will you accept my apology." And then add: "I'll try never to say anything like that again." Only at that point, if necessary, am I allowed to say, "Which comment was it that made you upset?"
A missionary who was struggling with righteousness confided in me that he was disappointed by the fact that even though he had fasted for 40 days while praying and calling out to God — he still felt conflicted in his spirit. I believed that he was making the whole thing too complicated. And maybe I was led to tell him, "Your problem, which was my problem for years, is to imagine that His righteousness would actually become your own, We are only righteous in Him; never in ourselves."
I sometimes think it is crazy how little I really learn about God's ways and how poorly I actually practice His presence. However, the incomparable Ann Lamott wrote words that speak deeply to me: "Big is the magic we look for first, but grace is what makes things work out against all odds.... If it were too big, it couldn't get through the almost invisible cracks and holes in our walls, in our stone hearts; knowledge comes in tendrils." The knowledge of the Truth really does seep slowly but steadily into my spirit. The "tendrils" of His ways are slowly poking into all the parts of my life. I'm a slow learner, but I will never stop trying better to learn His ways with me. But for sure I can't hold myself up as a pattern for others to follow.
I once heard a missionary say to a congregation that the reason the world looks down on us is because we always act like we have the truth. There was a moment's silence and then he said, "Well, we do have the truth, don't we?" Then he said, "But the problem is that we act like it is our truth."
Jenkin Lloyd Jones, an eighteenth century pioneering Unitarian minister, laid a burden on me that I carry on my heart into every speaking opportunity. He wrote: "The man who makes a bad thirty-minute speech to two hundred people wastes only a half hour of his own time. But he wastes one hundred hours of the audience's time — more than four days — which should be a hanging offense."
I was always a "good" boy. Every Sunday I attended Opening Exercise, Sunday school, and a Church service that always included a five-and-a-half minute pastoral prayer that I used to time on my wristwatch. Sunday afternoons were dreary times of enforced relaxation as we kept the Sabbath Day "holy" — which in our case meant that Mom forced us to take a nap or at least to lie in our beds for a couple hours while we listed to the children of our heathen neighbors outside playing ball and having a good time. I sure hated keeping the Sabbath Day holy.
I remained a "good boy" in high school, because I "didn't smoke and I didn't chew and I didn't go with girls that do." But I was desperately unhappy. I would do anything to avoid a fight, though until this day I wish that I had popped a kid named Kaz Kazameroski, right in the face. That punk had it coming!
I've come to believe that if a person has genuine strength in his spirit, then he can use that strength to turn his other cheek. In that case, doing so is a noble gesture. A godly thing! But if a person is fearful and timid, then he shouldn't turn the other cheek. At least in some contexts he should face up to his fears and pop the schoolyard bully right in the nose.
When I was a child, I ascribed to E.M. Forster's philosophy — that he would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave. But what I didn't understand was the truth that there are worse things than getting beat up. Life in a public school isn't worth living if you are too timid to stand up for yourself. I know. Because I didn't stand up for myself, and my school-life wasn't worth living.
Years ago a famous preacher named John R. "Sword of the Lord" Rice — who once told a group of preachers, "If you want your church to grow, just find a controversial issue and then ride that controversy." He was telling them to adopt an angry judgmental attitude as a way of attracting angry judgmental elements from the community into the church.
We Christians have got a reputation in the world of being angry judgmental people and, listen to me, we sometimes richly deserve the reputation. One of the 20th century's most beloved Bible teachers, Dr. J. Vernon McGee, said, "There's nothing meaner than a Christian when he is mean."
I think we should treat the president of the United States with dignity and respect, even if we don't agree with him. But for some reason, their supposed enlightened morality causes some Christians to become as hateful as any non-believers I've ever met. I'm appalled by this behavior! I can just imagine what watching unbelievers must think.
I read a book called The Speed of Trust in which the author maintained that a person could only be trusted if the one doing the trusting was confident that the person was both honest and capable. We probably all agree with Martin Luther when he said that he would rather be ruled by a wise Turk than to be ruled over by a foolish Christian.
A couple generations ago preachers loved to whack Voltaire, whom one biographer called the "Incomparable Infidel." But when Voltaire told us that we should "Love truth, and pardon error," he approached closer to the heart of Christ at that particular point than many militant fundamentalists were ever drawn by their arrogant and rigid doctrines.
I shouldn't have waited to my Senior Stage of life to practice integrity, but I'm practicing it finally. I've become a man of faith but not a particularly religious person. I'm not admitting this because of any false vanity, but because I know who I am. "Within me — that is, within my flesh — dwells no good thing." I know what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he wrote these words.
Even though my denomination discouraged the practice of the ecstatic gifts — and some of my fellow ministers actually opposed them — one memorable day, decades ago, I stood in my study, raised my hands to heaven, and prayed that if God wanted to give me the gift of tongues then I was ready to receive it. But I guess the gene for charism was left out of my spiritual genome.
I was raised in a teetotaling environment; my wife's grandmother was a member of the Woman's Core of Temperance Union. My own grandmother would come out of the grave and kick me in the rear end if she could know that a recent cover story in our magazine was about America's foremost Mixologist — who created a signature drink for my magazine — that we called the Onetenzini. The drink is absolutely delicious.
Four decades ago I learned that the incidence of alcoholism in Israel is virtually zero, even though families drink wine as a dinner beverage as a matter of course. If you walk though West Jerusalem or Tel Aviv you will find bookstores like in America we have saloons. It turns out that making rules forbidding drinking alcohol might be an effective way of creating social problems with alcohol.
My grandchild and I are both non-discriminating huggers of men, women, children, senior citizens (who are some of the most fun people to hug), laughing people, grieving, joyful, dying�.
Most people I meet are glad to be hugged, or at least they learn to be glad. One woman told me that the first time I met her and her husband I gave them both a big hug. She said her husband asked her afterwards, "Why did that guy hug me?" Now she says he's disappointed if he misses his hug.
My wife. Rae and I have been married for 44 years and often hold hands when we drive in the car. I hug her the first time we are both conscious in the morning, hug her last thing before we go to sleep at night, and typically hug her whenever our paths cross during the day.
Albert Schweitzer made the poignant statement: "We are all so much together and yet we are all dying of loneliness." Touching and hugging provides a curative for psychological isolation, which is one of modern society's most terrible illnesses.
I know a few people consider hugging to be a strange custom of mine, but everyone knows after I have hugged them that I have hugged them good. I hug them beyond social convention. Many accept it as a gift — which they usually give right back to me.
If ever I am feeling spiritually stunted, I can simply find someone and give him or her a big bear hug. The experience improves my spiritual health and adds an inch or so to my spiritual height and to the height of the person I hugged.
An important quality in putting one's whole self into the challenge of relating to others is the intention of helping others feel like they are worth-while and even admirable. There is no manipulation about this for me, since the people around me really do have qualities that should rightly arouse the admiration of anyone who would take time to discover and acknowledge them.
The truth is that I am surrounded by individuals with stories and lives that grip me and inspire me because I am bending my ear to catch their stories and looking intently to see with comprehension the significance of the lives of the people with whom I am encountering.
I know that my writings about people in my magazine and ghostwriting projects — based as they are on my love and admiration for each of them — become sources of psychic strength, encouragement, and self-worth. It is easy for those people to feel great about themselves, because they know that I am aware of their greatness; they can admire themselves through the lens of my admiration. I continually discover that having this kind of attitude towards others elevates me, as well.
I once told my friend, Cristina, that some people must be couch potatoes who stumble through life with nothing remarkable ever going on in their spirit, but that I couldn't think of any offhand. "Don," she said to me, "If we ever have patience to get through the noise and static going on in the lives of such people, we would always be able to catch a little flute-like melody that might fill us with delight."
I am trying to share in her view towards others; looking for the opportunity to cherish and to admire the smallest "flute-note" of greatness that I can catch from them.
The act of offering my life in complete service to the people around me and to Heaven presumes living free from the corrosive effects of such dark emotions as hatred, antagonism, resentment, and rage — those negative qualities that destroy my peace and that cause me to strike out at another person, or at least wish to do so. Therefore, the driving need to be at peace with others is one of the most important issues in putting my whole self into life.
Righteous anger is hardly ever useful. Such anger is positive in the context of such things as reacting towards such things as a violent home invasion, an animal that is attacking a child, or towards a cruel attack on anyone. However, how often have I actually found myself in the kind of situation that would justify a furious response? Verbal attacks are far more common. "A soft answer turns away wrath," runs an old proverb. When a soft answer is not readily available, I can always just let things pass.
A fellow worker once said to me, "Don, you don't even know when you've been insulted." Well, the truth was that I knew the comment, whatever it was, could have been taken as an insult. But what's the point? It never accomplishes any good to trade insults with anybody, nor to leap to my own defense.
I should be willing to defend another person against a verbal attack of some kind, but even then, a calm and reasonable response will almost always be more effective than a thousand curses and counter insults.
I know longer try very hard to be good! I simply keep the lid of my spirit open to the sun above me — receiving Heaven's forgiveness and filling my life with the power of His life and light. Because I'm at peace with God, harmony with others becomes a natural outcome.
I become annoyed sometimes, but not very often. Moreover, the episodes usually conclude with a confession of my failure and a renewed determination that, by the help of Heaven, I'll become a man of indomitable peace.
The world is in desperate need of seeing examples of lives that are not desperate. I am determined to be a man of peace; to remain patient and calm in the midst of chaos and turmoil; to be a rock of serenity beneath which troubled people can take refuge. Mark Twain wrote that calmness is "a language that even the deaf can hear and the blind can read." That calming language is the most effective dialect in which to speak the words of compassion as well as affection.
The word "peace" sometimes gives the impression of an absence of turbulence or strife. In that sense, peace isn't the right word for our troubled lives. Perhaps the word "calmness" refers exactly to the quality that comes from my response to any troubles when I remain connected to The Source of my strength.
If peacefulness were depended only upon circumstances, I would often be living life with a very unsettled, troubled heart, since storms and turbulence are as natural a part of my life as they are a part of nature. My connection to Heaven creates a place of calm directly in the midst of any storm that might come blowing through my life.
Perhaps my life can be pictured more like a hurricane than a thunderstorm. A thunderstorm is full of sound and fury. However, the eye of a hurricane has a peaceful place at its core where the sun shines and hardly a breeze blows. Deep inside myself, right at the center of my being, there is a quiet place that cannot be disturbed no matter how fiercely the winds of life may blow around the edges.
The Bible says that a healthy spiritual life produces such qualities of love, joy, peace, patient endurance. That third quality, "patient endurance," is in one sense the most important because if I permit the winds of my feelings to blow me here and there, I can't effectively love; my life will be joyless, chaotic, and troubled.
I know my heart! I have been married to the same person for more than 40 years, but I'll freely admit that I am no stronger in mind and will than most divorced people that I am acquainted with. Based on my own strength I could never continue to do the things I know I ought to do. I would have been divorced long ago; I would probably be living in a van somewhere on government assistance. A quality of grace in my life lifts me above the circumstances of my limited spiritual powers.
I want to be persistent and consistent in my life, but not as plodding drudgery. I want to fly! I want to soar! By the energy that Heaven shares with me, I will continue to do good. I am determined to keep on keeping on for the rest of my life. I am going to show up today, for sure.
"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another," she said. Helen Keller herself became the best example of miracles being "wrought" through the lives of people who do their best.
Many of us imagine that we are doing our "best" when, in fact, we are operating only at a tiny fraction of the actual performance level that would be possible if we only, somehow, could learn to put our whole selves into making the most of the opportunities that come our way. Rather than viewing challenges as limitations, I am trying to view problems as springboards to be able to engage more fully in life.
Through timidity and dread, we often avoid activities or projects that might have been a blessing if we had only channeled the problems and challenges into positive directions. I am never again going to use troubles and even suffering as reasons to pull back from life; I'll never use difficulties as excuses for not following down the bright pathways that Heaven or destiny beckons me to follow.
My acts of forgiveness must have nothing to do with whether a person necessarily deserves or even particularly desires forgiveness. After all, nobody in this world needs my forgiveness more than I need forgiveness from myself. If I can only accomplish that monumental task, then it should be easy to forgive anybody else for anything.
I discovered long ago that even the worst people often have characteristics that I can respect or, in many cases, esteem. As a result, I deliberately attempt to look for things to admire and even cherish about everyone I meet. If I can make the offender a person I admire, then it is a piece of cake to not take offense.
I while ago I made up my mind that I was going to like people without making a judgment whether they were worthy of my affection or not. I am determined to keep the clean light of the love that I am living in these days undimmed by any shadows of animosity that I might hold against anyone in this world. People wouldn't be able to make me hate them by spitting on me.
Loving unlovely people is the way anybody can bring a small part of heaven down to earth. The will to love anyone no matter how unlovable can lead to miracles.

The healthiest people remain in pilgrimage mode — leaving behind the outworn past and moving toward the land of promise and desire. I continually have a sense that I am just getting started. The task of shaping destiny remains unfinished until life ends. The egg is always hatching, and I'll kill the life inside if I ever stop the process.
Decades ago I was a pastor, but had no gifts for ministry. I have to say in my own defense that even without giftings my little Montana church grew from 85 members to 87 during the four years I was there. And that was in spite of the fact that I conducted six funerals during the time. If those people hadn't died, I would have had 93 members when I left. Well, I guess it would have only been 92, actually, because one of them, Ferd Jehnke, was the Town Drunk.
By putting my whole self into all the activities and relationships in my life — through good times and bad, through cancer, changing economic fortunes, the deaths of people dear to me, plus through my own failures and the failures of people I have trusted — by God's help I've learned to keep undimmed the sunshine of my internal weather.
Authentic living will always generate some dissonance, but we have to rid ourselves of chaos. We need the power of God channeled into our hearts by His grace and made manifest in our lives through genuine love for others.
Two and three decades ago I believed far more doctrines and dogmas than I do today. I don't believe the world is 7,000 years old. (I actually got over that before I was 12.) I don't believe we're necessarily living in The Last Days. I don't believe that all gay people and Mormons are necessarily going to hell. I don't believe that everybody who has prayed to receive Jesus Christ as their personal savior is thereby automatically going to heaven.
I believe that Evolution is a perfectly good scientific theory, even though Evolutionism is terrible theology — and is based upon horrible science, as well. I also believe that Creation is a marvelous biblical doctrine, even though Creationism is horrible scientific theory — and is based upon horrible biblical hermeneutics, as well.
I've come to believe that our hope for eternal life is founded totally upon relationships and not at all upon conformance with rules, regulations, or rituals. The Shack was right when one of the characters said, "Freedom involves trust and obedience inside a relationship of love."
Never before in my life have I been more certain of my standing with Jesus Christ or less sure of the importance of church attendance or in assenting to any creed. God doesn't limit His grace in any way; He offers it freely to anyone who will receive it without constraining the flow of grace into any narrow orthodoxy.
The Apostle Paul made what I think to be one of the central statements of the nature of the metaphysical universe when he said about God that, "In him we live and move and have our being."
What I really believe with all my heart is that any doctrine or dogma is wrong that can be used to drive a wedge between people. I don't want any inside and outside attitudes in my thinking. I know the biblical logic that drives us in that direction. But not everything that makes sense is true. We can't believe everything we think.
The fact is, for a person like me, not being quick to judge people for being judgmental is the supreme test of humility.
We are accepted by God not because of what we do, but it took a long time for my spirit to begin to move towards the actual honest reformation that would permit me to become a vessel for the Spirit of God to inhabit without my finding His presence to be a source of discomfort. His presence has now become the main fact of my life, even while I'm finding religion to be constantly less important.
I have a t-shirt with a message on it: "Better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what people think you are." If you don't understand the truth of that, keep thinking about it more. Shakespeare spoke the truth when he wrote, "Above all! To thine own self be true...." Then he added the rationale: "...it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
There are a multitude of themes in Christianity. Some are marvelous; others are dysfunctional and even pernicious. The conflicts include: We're full of love — except that we sometimes harbor hated in our hearts. We have perfect tolerance — except that we sometimes pronounce harsh judgments upon others. We are the most generous people — except sometimes we are carried away by materialism. Sometimes the center of our faith — which is supposedly built upon grace and mercy — doesn't hold.
Jesus Christ is no pussycat. Christ is a tiger — and watch out if you ever think that you have faith all figured out. If I attempt to enclose Christ in a cage that will define and thus limit who He is and what He is doing in this world and I'll be in for a big surprise when He comes bursting out. And after He has gone, God help me if I respond to that wild and uncontrollable kind of grace by imagining that I can continue to live as though I still have Him in my box.
CS Lewis once announced the revolutionary insight that, while Islam is a religion of abstinence, Christianity is a religion of temperance. Voltaire got something right when he said, "Use, do not abuse." And then added the absolutely accurate observation, "Neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy."
We grow when we run into things that we can't process by our current patterns of thinking and belief. The world itself and certainly the Kingdom of God are too big to be enclosed by any narrow orthodoxy.
I don't believe that only good things will happen to me; I believe that all things happen to me for an ultimate good. The Bible says, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." We who are awash in grace really do know that this is true.
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." (Helen Keller)
I think some versions of Christianity falsely encourage us to believe that we can avoid tragedy and harm. Was the imprisonment of Joseph in Egypt a wonderful thing? The suffering of Job? The martyrdom of the disciples? The crucifixion of Christ? For that matter, what about the loss of sight and hearing that Helen Keller experienced as a child? Was that a wonderful thing? Of course, the answers are (in order) "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" and "Yes!"
However, if anyone in the list believed in a gospel of avoiding pain, they would have regarded each event as a terrible blow to their doctrine.
"They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." (Confucius)
It takes moral courage to keep up with the progress of God's grace in the world surrounding me. I either have to deliberately shut out the world and close my eyes to evidentially truthful things that I are seeing, and close my ears to obvious truths that I am hearing, or else I have to grow and change.
We need to learn to hang onto our opinions with a loose grip. It is easy for me to be humble about my opinions because I've changed them so often. Since finally becoming really alive and awake, I have often been disturbed by my appalling ignorance. "To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge." (Confucius)
When I was 13 I knew everything there was to know because I didn't know what I didn't know. And how could I? I spent 12 years in higher education. I'm a life-long learner, and now know things that I didn't know last week at this time. But while my knowledge only grows by addition, my awareness of the extent of my ignorance grows by multiplication. As a result, I find the little island of the things I know for sure becoming increasingly less significant in the unbounded ocean of those things that I now know I know nothing about.
Plato referred to Socrates as "an idol, a master figure..., a Saint," and "a prophet." About himself, Socrates reportedly made the comment, "The Delphic oracle said I was the wisest of all the Greeks." However, he then added, "It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing."
Don't let your opinions and the experiences of the past force you into a rigid mold. Don't imagine you have all the answers. Don't always try to serve others out of your strength. "We find our humbling weakness shields us from the strength that harms," runs the line from an old gospel song that I love. So I try to stay loose in the saddle.
However you picture it, the Ultimate Power behind the universe — which is both personal and benevolent — will lead you through life as long as you maintain the connection unbroken. The Master will assist you in becoming good for yourself, good for others, and good for Heaven's sake because, as the Bible notes (quoting an ancient philosopher named Zeno), "In Him we live and move and have our being."
I have learned that the only way to make life worth living is to throw myself with complete abandon into the tasks and challenges that come to me; to put my whole self into whatever I do, moving at a full gallop down the pathways of life.
The quality of my inner and outer life is determined to a considerable extent, by forces of good and evil that I strengthen or starve by my patterns of thinking, reacting, and meditating. I came to a moment of clarity years ago, when my Aunt Iris posed a question for me: "We have two dogs fighting inside of us, a black dog and a white dog, Donnie. Which dog wins the fight?" The answer turned out to be "The one you feed." I am regularly feeding the white dog with good stuff these days. I have learned where the black dog food is and I am starving that mutt.
Most of us fail to engage completely in life because of bad habits and learned behaviors that inhibit such full engagement. Therefore, one of my most important personal tasks is the breaking of habits that waste my time, damage my relationship with the people around me, limit my ability to explore the possibilities of life, and harm my health.
My big problem is that developing any good habit requires a great deal of energy and continual reinforcement, whereas bad habits develop with little or no effort on my part. I am so grateful that a principle of grace has invaded my life and has invested me with a power sufficient to make fundamental changes in the ways I habitually live — in the thoughts I routinely think and in the things I consistently do.
I believe in the principle of finding beauty in imperfection when it comes to people and am I am often strongly moved by the beauty and grace of things that seem superficially flawed and imperfect. I have always pushed away as too dismissive Shakespeare's famous comment that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Common beauty extends much farther than mere internalization of attitudes. My eye truly recognizes rather than merely creates the beauty I see in people around me.
When I learn to put my whole self into relationships with people such things as crooked teeth, skin blemishes, veins, and wrinkles all become part of the beauty of the people whom I have come to love.
The attractiveness of a beloved person somehow becomes enhanced by the lack of porcelain-perfect complexions or god-like bodies. Some people I dearly love have lost 30 pounds who I thought looked fine before they started. People I cherish have paid thousands of dollars for teeth alignments when I thought they were beautiful before the operation.
I see in many people the inward beauty that the Bible talks about: a beauty from the "inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4) The Bible then adds about this kind of beauty, that it "is of great worth in God's sight." Right! And in my sight too!
I am so thankful that Heaven puts in my heart the capacity for seeing beauty in others. Hollywood creates a beautiful illusion; The Master creates a beautiful essence that I can see and touch, and that calls my mind to joy, delight, and sometimes to worship.
Fame, fortune, and even financial stability have eluded me. All my successes have been minor ones and seemly less substantial than my failures. However, I am content to leave my successes as well as my failures in the hands of my Master — even leaving Him to judge which actions and outcomes belong in which category. My life is filled with delightful challenges, duties, and people; my heart filled with love for others, some of whom respond with love. That's good enough for now, I think.
Satisfaction in a person's work depends 90 percent upon attitude and only 10 percent upon the nature of the job. I really like what I am doing. I find my writing and speaking tasks to be more satisfying than going to Disneyland. I love the life I am living! Job satisfaction comes especially from an aim at excellence, following the advice Lincoln gave: "Whatever you are, be a good one."
An essential requirement for putting my whole self into relationships is the ability to relate to anybody. Galileo Galilei, who was called the Father of Modern Science, revealed true greatness of spirit when he said, "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him."
People who don't like their job should seek out a profession that they do like. With the right attitude, however, we can find another alternative: I can nearly always find something to like in almost any situation.
C.S. Lewis maintained that humility is an often-misunderstood virtue. According to Lewis, the essence of true humility is for me to regard the virtues and talents of the people around me with as much delight as I regard my own. The sign of a humble heart is when I imagine that I am surrounded by wonderfully gifted and admirable people.
A principle of grace affecting me these days is both produced by and produces a proper attention of my mind and intention of my heart towards others. I am humbly delighted to be in service of others. I am especially grateful to be surrounded by remarkable people. I often marvel that The Master has filled my life full of these people from whom I receive innumerable gifts.
The sun of my life reaches its zenith when I find delight in serving other people whether or not they seem deserving of my attention — to serve them even if I derive no profit from doing so. (Especially if I derive no profit from the service!)
Before I discovered that wellness and fun were connected with a Source that made them possible, I was unable to realize the shining purposes that the Source — Destiny, Angels, God, or however it manifest itself — was putting in my way.
Jesus illustrated our connection with God by comparing it to the essential relationship that branches maintain with a grapevine in order to remain healthy and productive. Once the link is in place, qualities like peace, joyfulness, love, and kindness come as effortlessly as fruit comes to a healthy branch and keep me orderly, happy, and productive. Maintaining that connection is the only struggle that I have these days.
People avoid fully engaging with the world or with the lives of the people around them because of fear for what might result from such engagement. Such people miss the fact that life lived on that level is, in fact, fun.
I really believe that no matter how difficult a circumstance may be, some good can always be found to redeem the evil. No matter how wicked a person may seem, some good can always be found that could draw the person to the light. As long as I really believe that from my heart, I always am able to find the good.
As far as I can remember, every one of the people I encountered while writing articles for my lifestyle magazine and the writers I have ghostwritten books for have been conscious of a connection with a Benevolent Power in the Universe about them — and all of them consider the Power to be personal. I have discovered that the way they described the Source mattered little; the fact that they were connected to it was everything.
According to my philosophy, the Source is always Jesus, even when people remain unaware Who it is they are connecting with. Through Him I continually embrace the reality that the Universe has a smiling face, even though it may sometimes be hidden behind seemingly dark circumstances.
Complete integrity is required before I can sincerely embrace the world or the people around me. Since discovering, however, that the powers of Heaven are available to help me live justly and joyfully in this world, I have become a person without guile or hypocrisy.
Integrity must surely be one of the basic qualities of a well-lived life. "Better to be poor than a liar." the Bible says (Proverbs 19:22). What is required is that each day — each moment, insofar as I can do so, without deceit or deception — that I give myself into the hands of my Master. Then He gives it back, in a refreshed version, for me to share with others.
I am so grateful for the freedom that is mine in this life that I am now living; thankful indeed for the power to fight against the dark side of my character. As long as I remain in that freedom, I do not break my word; with Heaven's help I am true to myself, to others, and to Him above all.
Saint Teresa of Avila advised us to "Be gentle to all, and stern with yourself." Only by following her admonition can I really reach out to others; I am only good for the people around me to the extent that I embrace them without paying attention to whatever faults or shortcomings I might notice.
I'm dismissive concerning gossip even about myself. I easily forgive another person for gossiping about me because what good can ever be gained by trying to get even with the person — or even trying to correct the gossip? When someone says something bad about me, even when it is not true, I just let it go — consoling myself with the sure knowledge that the truth will eventually drive away the falsehood.
I forgive gossipers for their slander, whether or not they ever apologize for their actions, but maintain an absolute standard against participating in gossip myself — not listening to it or spreading it. If I wish to put myself wholeheartedly into a particular relationship then what good could possibly be served by my spreading negative information about the person whether or not it is true?
One of the resources that assists me in keeping my words fewer and sweeter is the knowledge earned by personal experiences of how damaging a tongue can be. With their tongues people opened wounds in my soul decades ago that I still carry with me. Moreover, I, in turn, have harmed others with my words — damaging them far beyond the ability of any powers I possess to heal the harm that I inflicted.
Silence is golden and becomes so in more ways than by simply refraining from saying bad things; I am also learning not always to attempt to say something good, profound, or humorous. Nothing requires me to strive to make an impression by my speech; I don't always have to try to fix something with my words.
I am learning the virtue of silence. We comfort each other in times of distress by our hugs and by our tears — not by our words nor by any attempted explanations about the situation.
My daughter's little doggie, Roxanne, is one of the most loving and loveable creatures on the planet. She senses when a person is feeling depressed and provides solace in her little doggy fashion. Of course, Roxie communicates affection and consolation without uttering a single word. Being granted the ability to speak would probably diminish the effectiveness of her communication.
There is nobody in my life that I can't learn something from; nobody who doesn't have some qualities that I can admire; nobody who hasn't done some things that I can respect and even praise him/her for. I put my whole self into my relationships with others only by avoiding needlessly negative attitudes towards anybody.
I am learning to have a positive response to difficult situations, looking for lessons from whatever happens to me, not leaving room in my heart for feelings of disappointment and discouragement. Whenever Depression knocks on the door of my heart, I send Hopefulness to answer the door.
I am thankful that I am doing a little better with my mouth these days. I often let opportunities to criticize pass by. I keep silent sometimes when I am tempted to "speak my mind." I try to use only soothing words to express ideas that will preserve harmony and bring peace. During those times of restraint I really do feel that I have managed to do something good in this world. Sometimes, when I am at my best, circumstances are able to make a song of my silence.
I really am in charge of my own emotions, whether peaceful or stormy. When someone cuts me off in traffic, it is inaccurate to say that the person made me angry. The person's action merely reveals the anger that I had in my spirit. Jesus wouldn't have been angered, for example. Or Mother Teresa. Or Ghandi. They possessed no reservoir of anger that could have spilled over in wrath against another driver.
I am increasingly more sorrowful when I encounter mean-spirited and morose people. The worst cases are grumpy elderly people. It is disappointing that people can live a lifetime without learning that they were in charge of their emotions. If would be spiritual failure to continually burden myself and those around me with a weight of negative and critical attitudes and feelings.
I wish I were as absolutely certain of anything as some people are sure of everything.

8/15/11 — Thirteen-year-old Anne Frank, while hiding in an attic from Nazi soldiers who were seeking to put her and her entire family to death, was able to write in her famous journal the amazing words, "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." She obviously knew what it was to be happy with a quality of joyfulness that had its sources in her heart. Me too! (You too?)
8/16/11 — I got up this morning at 3:30 and have been scrambling to get a couple articles ready for a read-through. I have to say that I have enjoyed every moment of the experience. The articles are completely different from each other, but each tells the story of an extraordinary human being. Becoming involved in the two narratives has encouraged me to engage more completely in life today. And I will.
We have always known in our hearts that happiness is where you find it. What beautiful things are around me to make me happy? The beauties of the universe provide keys for filling my day with good activities. (Are you in?)
8/17/11 — Heading for Walnut Creek and three read-throughs of articles for our 86� Magazine. It's going to be a great day! Every day is great since I learned that engaging in life with my whole heart enables me to relish the people and objects around me and to rejoice over the everyday processes of life. (Are you in?)
8/18/11 — Wonderful things happened yesterday! Expecting even better things today. Even routines seem blessed these days. After 46 years of marriage I still enjoy giving my wife warm hugs at the beginning and ending of each day. Every time I leave her to run an errand I hug her again and we tell each other "I love you." When I return we do it again. Each time it feels good!
8/19/11 — My work routines are filled with blessing. Sitting at my computer is my rest state. I never find writing tasks to be boring because whatever particular article or book I am writing at the time often seems to me to be the most interesting thing I have ever written.
8/22/11 — I never realized until I wrote an article about him, what an amazing human being Bill Brandt is.
After eight years of being involved in the rhythms of interviewing, writing, conducting reviews, and polishing articles for our magazines, I am still continually amazed by the people I encounter and by the extraordinary lives each of them have lived. I come to love every one of them deeply and from my heart.
8/23/11 — I almost died a few weeks ago. It was no big deal.
Some day I will lie down in death. However, I believe that the final rest, when it comes, will be analogous to the blessed sleep that marks the conclusion of each day. I expect in that final sleep to discover an ultimate satisfaction. At that time, with all rhythms and cadences at an end, I hope to experience the sunrise of an Eternal Day.
8/24/11 — One of the great things about putting my whole self into life is that I can't remember the last time I had any feelings of desperation about anything! (Well, I misplaced my iPhone three weeks ago — for about six minutes. That was terrifying.)
8/26/11 — We are wealthy in all the ways that are important: After all, the most bulging back account couldn't afford the price that life charges for genuine satisfaction. Many of us in America have used wealth to hedge our lives about with satiated passions and expensive but useless possessions. Those hedges have grown tall and thick and have moved inward until the light of genuine happiness sometimes become a scarcely visible shadow across the dark recesses into which our spirits have receded. We are paying the price for happiness every day.
8/29/11 — We are losing our house in a short-sale and must move into a rental property before the end of September. I could wish things were different but I won't. Any desperate worrying about material goods will divert me from what the Master said were the great issues of life: "justice, mercy and faithfulness." God is waiting to give me the gifts of His presence and power. I will not be so distracted by what I have or where I live that I fail to receive these gifts.
8/30/11 — A principle for effective living: There's no use pointing out an error to a person who isn't open to advice. Much of my success in developing positive relationships with others depends upon my ability to control my tongue! My silence in the face of other people's mistakes and failings has become a powerful tool for maintaining quality relationships.
Instruction #1: 8/5/12; Learn to allow people to be foolish and vain without attempting to correct them because you can depend upon the truth eventually to reveal itself without your assistance.
8/9/11 — Life has become sweeter and more joyful since I learned to use silence as a means of preventing the debris of my uncensored opinions and reactions from clogging the channels of interpersonal communication.
10/3/11 — Shouting at people is never an effective method of communicating with them. I'm learning to gently speak the truth to others in the same reduced volume sotto voce that God uses when He quietly speaks His truth to me.
10/12/11 — Any act of genuine service itself provides the greatest source of joy because generosity has a reciprocating force. People are usually willing to be kind towards someone who has done some good service for them, but that is entirely beside-the-point. The magnificent reality is that acts of service have their own reward.
10/15/11 — Some people are unsettled by unconditional love. The prospect of unselfish generosity fills them with a fear that people will take advantage of them. However, if I love the people around me as God said I should love them, then want them to take advantage of me. After all, the Bible says: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
I believe that if we are too cautious with our boundaries — too careful to ensure that people don't take advantage of us — other people will take advantage of us in spite of the walls we erect around our generosity. Our defenses seem to incite them to attack.
10/16/11 — I have learned that if I deliberately place myself in the service of co-workers, family members, and friends, they do not rush at me to take too much advantage of my kindness. Quite the opposite! They show similar consideration towards me as I show to them. People tend to live up to (or down to) our expectations for them. I expect people to be kind and not impose upon me in some insistent and inappropriate fashion. Therefore, they don't!
10/17/11 — There is tremendous cumulative power in small things. A single step is of no consequence. A hundred steps might take you to the corner of the street. A hundred thousand steps will take you across a town. A million steps will carry you to the other side of the planet.
10/18/11 — I have been happily married for 47 years and a big part of the success of my marriage is getting out of bed in the morning and telling my wife that I love her no matter how I feel. When I married her, I said that I would love her until death parted us, and that was a promise not a prediction.
10/20/11 — Some people fail in their marriage because they believe love to be merely an emotion. And so they break of the relationship when they no longer feel the emotion. True love, however, is persistent. "Love never fails," the Bible says. Any that ever fails, therefore, was never authentic.
10/22/11 — The virtues of patience and perseverance operate most strongly in the absence of positive circumstances or feelings. Hope is the quality that carries me through the darkness towards a light that I believe to be at the end of every tunnel even when I am unable to see even a glimmer of it.
10/23/11 — I will certainly fail at any relationship or at any task if I come to believe that my hope is nothing but an emotion. If I stop moving forward when I no longer "feel" hopeful, I'll always quit at anything difficult that I ever attempt.
10/24/11 — Part of the challenge of putting my whole self into relationships with others is to maintain control over my emotions and to cultivate those passions that help create the good outcomes in my life while avoiding attitudes that only serve to bring me down and to diminish the happiness of the people around me. One of the most effective techniques for doing this involves humor.
10/25/11 — People who are out of touch with the real world are too quick to say the words, "That's no laughing matter" because everything in life is a laughing matter. Of course, I'm not talking about laughter involving hurtful emotions such as scorn and derision. Appropriate humor is a lubricant to grease the wheels of human relationships.
10/27/11 — Humor is one of the great bonds that keep my wife Rae and me in close relationship with each other. I don't think a day goes by without us finding something to laugh at out loud together. Rae has a naturally dry wit and often makes some humorous aside that will cause us both to burst out laughing. The warm sunshine of appropriate laughter can melt the icy grip of depression, anxiety, or anger.
10/28/11 — The contemporary admonition to "just deal with it!" carries a lot of wisdom. When something dark from my past threatens my sense of peace and harmony, the thing for me to do is simply to take responsibility for my emotions and put that dark thing away from me forever. I am unable to put myself wholeheartedly into life without coming to terms with my personal history. Such success is powered by the core energy that forgiveness can supply — both as I receive pardon for the things I have done and, in turn, as I pardon others.
10/28/11 — Some people are stuck with an unforgiving attitude because of an inability to shut out past grievances. Their hearts are filled with anger and bitterness to the point that they regard any pardoning of the person at the center of their wrath as a despicable act.
The winds of grace must cleanse both my unforgiving attitudes and my unforgiven feelings because the two things are powerfully and indivisibly connected with each other. And with my own mental health.
11/1/11 — Even though no amount of mercy can change the past, the smallest act of forgiveness will bless me in the present and enlarge my future. I no longer ever spend a moment worrying about whether people who hurt me deserve to be forgiven; any act of forgiving others becomes a gift I give myself. I freely forgive them because anger, bitterness, and resentment are roadblocks that separate me from the qualities of joy, serenity, and the sense of cheerfulness that I want out of life.
11/2/11 — The power of forgiveness isn't a religious doctrine; it is a spiritual law. Mercy is "twice blest," Shakespeare said, and then explained how, "it blesseth him that gives and him that takes...."
11/3/11 — I want the grace of Heaven to empower me to shut out all of my past except that which will help me weather my tomorrows. And that's just what is happening! Conflict is a regular part of my life, but by the grace of God I am learning to just deal with it.
11/4/11 — Abusive spouses, controlling mothers-in-law, dominating parents, repressive cult leaders, and infatuated fans are examples of people who engage in an inappropriate fashion in the lives of other people. In every case they cause more harm than good. Such people consider themselves to be motivated by love for the person they are harming; blinded to the fact that they are actually using others as a way of satisfying their own passions and therefore incapable of doing even a little bit of good.
11/7/11 — Infatuation with another person eliminates the possibility of engaging with him/her in a helpful way because the focus for any contact is to satisfy the infatuation rather than to engage in genuine acts of service.
Whenever I become infatuated with another person, the relationship is all about me and about satisfying my emotions rather than focusing upon the person and meeting his/her actual needs. The object of my attentions may feel flattered but will never feel genuinely served because the service, in that case, can never be offered from a heart moved by genuine concern.
11/8/11 — The intention of simply doing a little bit of good is a magnificent motivator for me as I attempt to put my whole self into every relationship in my life. I am not trying to rescue other people. I am not attempting to save people from themselves. I am not trying to set myself up as a shining example for other people to follow. I am just doing whatever little bit of good that comes my way.
11/9/11 — The fountains of grace in this world are usually opened up by the smallest of actions. A hug to the person who is a grieving; a warm smile for the harassed woman at the grocery store checkout counter; a simple touch on the arm for a worried parent; a cup of coffee for my wife in the morning when she is doing her hair — these provide important content of my putting my whole self into relationships with the people around me.
11/10/11 — I infrequently have the opportunity of making some magnificent gesture or sacrifice; I usually put my self into other people's lives by the little bit of good that I do for some of them every day.
11/11/11 — I can fill my life with light and happiness by doing nothing more than simply waking myself up to the beauty of the world that surrounds me.
11/12/11 — A negative force within each of us is equivalent to a thermodynamic principle operating in the physical world. A process, called entropy, causes usable energy to continually diminish. Just as in the case of water always running downhill, spiritual entropy increases so that the processes of our lives run down towards stasis and doldrums unless constantly renewed by a source of energy from outside the system. We need each other! We need the grace of Heaven!
11/14/11 — A divine Presence is operating like a fountain with overflowing nourishment for my mind and spirit. The cares and hammerings of life lose their ability to affect me very much as long as I remain connected to that internal source of renewal and healing.
11/15/11 — Qualities such as joy, calmness, love, and gentleness often seem to be in possession of my spirit with little regard for dysfunctional people or negative circumstances. I can sometimes be kind towards people who are rude, regularly calm when conditions about me are stormy, and often peaceable in the face of confrontation. It's a God thing.
11/15/11 — I am grateful that my feet are planted upon a mighty Rock, which gives me a solid base upon which to stand, traction in order to progress, and leverage for helping others move ahead towards their own goals. Many days I seem to be trying less and accomplishing more than ever before in my life.
11/17/11 — The rising incidence of road rage is one of many phenomena in our society pointing to the groundswell of unhappiness that surrounds us. Some of my liberal friends are angry and upset about the manner in which conservative forces control the media in this country. Some conservative relatives are angry and upset by the way the forces of liberalism control the media in this country.
I knew people who were so angry at President Bush — and others later at President Obama — that they could hardly keep from spitting when the name of whichever reviled president would come up.
The impact of these negative feelings upon any healthy engagement with life is like snow poured over flame. Forces of anger, depression, and rage extinguish the qualities of kindness, peace, and love that are the true birthright of us all.
11/18/11 — Whenever my heart is overflowing with affection and concern for the people around me, then nothing can make me angry and depressed. Moreover, during those times I realize that I am being loved myself.
11/21/11 — Our growing culture of self-absorption underlies a great dysfunction that prevents us from embracing the power that love has to change everything by encouraging me to misinterpret the word "love" so that the focus becomes all about me rather than about the object of my love.
11/22/11 — Some people will certainly not understand, believe, or accept my love. Nevertheless, that's their problem. After all, the Master was crucified by people whom He loved absolutely.
11/28/11 — I could give many examples in which people who are fully engaged in life correct and improve themselves and their circumstances in ways that would never occur to a more withdrawn person — one disassociated with the rhythms of life. When fully engaged with life, however, I will go out of my comfort zone and, for example, find the kind of job I could be happy with — being confident that if things didn't work out with the first choice, I would simply try something else.
11/29/11 — My list of the number of things that I feel I am able to change grows longer as I become more engaged with my life. I am in a process of identifying the aggravating and dysfunctional things in my life, and actually changing them — beginning with my own actions and attitudes. Helen Keller used the unalterable circumstance of being blind and deaf to create a life that changed the world for good.
11/30/11 — There is a world of difference between the grace of resignation and the defect of fatalism. Through resignation to the will of God, I will use a negative circumstance as a source of energy in fashioning an alternate condition in which to continue life. A fatalistic person, on the other hand, will simply bend, or perhaps break, to the circumstance and continue in a diminished life.
12/1/11 — Little things provide the greatest joy in our marriage. How often do Rae and I share something together that makes us both throw our heads back and laugh out loud! This shared spontaneous laughter provides some of the cohesion that keeps the two of us bound together.
12/2/11 — Someone made the comment, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." I have learned to "fall in love" with my wife repeatedly. My love for this wonderful person is constant and unvarying. She is what I want. She is what I need.
12/16/11 — The heartbreak of Hamlet's resolution to his dilemma was made even more tragic by the fact that out of his own mouth the words, "there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so," contained the possible key to his own redemption by negating the ability of the horrible choices of other people to affect his attitude towards himself and towards his life.
12/17/11 — I don't "embrace life" in the sense that I engage in challenging adventures like bungee jumping or downhill skiing. Nevertheless, inwardly — in the life awash in the ocean of grace in which I am living these days — I am humming like a plucked piano wire with the sheer joy of being alive.
12/19/11 — People who engage in such things as cliff climbing, or hang gliding give the impression of being vibrantly and joyfully alive. However, in some cases the activities are merely attempts to use frenetic and even dangerous activities to cover the basic emptiness and meaningless of a life.
12/19/11 — My attitude of peace and contentment doesn't mean that I never experience sorrow or disappointment. Nevertheless, the spiritual and philosophical foundations of my life are driven into bedrock. They may shake me up but they no longer can pull me down. I've learned to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love, and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal — and soon they forget my number.
12/20/11 — I am not existing or surviving in my life, I am embracing it and am continually dazzled by the way in which life keeps hugging back.
12/22/12 — I find intense pleasure being diligent about my work because I am doing nothing that I wouldn't do even if it didn't produce income. I derive more genuine pleasure from my work than many people get from going on a vacation.
12/26/11 — It would be a real failure to become wealthy doing something that I hate or find boring. An uncountable number of millionaires are living in despair because they intensely dislike the things they do that earn them their wealth. My real answer to the question, "What do you do?" goes deeper than job, profession, or even career. The answer is ultimately spiritual because I am living life in service of others and those acts of service connect me with something greater than myself; other people are are the way I maintain contact with God.
12/28/11 — I confirm by practical experience a connection between liberating service for others and self-worth. Acts of service transform my life from being a jumble of discordant passions resembling the honking and blatting of instruments tuning up before a concert into a symphony performance.
12/30/11 — Service to others creates an inner sense of quiet assertion dissipating the dark forces of stress, fatigue, frustration, and dissatisfaction that otherwise prevents me from experiencing a joyful and fulfilling life.
12/31/11 — My passion for serving others adds a positive redemptive quality to my endeavors. I am like a mason in a stone quarry who believes that he's building a temple rather than cutting a stone. With the good of others in view, I try to do with excellence any task I undertake.
1/1/12 — An important principle of the moral universe is that by giving simply, freely, and without reservation, we really do receive more than we can ever give. Service to others freely given never feels like sacrifice, because of the joy of service that always accompanies such acts. Any act of pure generosity is its own reward.
1/2/12 — I mar the beauty of life by ever trying to take anything for myself. There's no place in the moral universe for greed, stinginess, and avarice. I give to others without reserve and then The Universe gives good things back to me.
1/4/12 — C.S. Lewis observed that God put wine on this earth as a way of blessing us. He also made the piercing insight that, while Islam is a religion of abstinence, Christianity is a religion of temperance. However, the quality of temperance is not highly rated in the "go for the gusto" world we live in today; we are surrounded by people who are destroying themselves by not being able to control their compulsive behaviors, appetites, and desires.
1/5/12 — Within appropriate constraints anything can become a gateway for engaging in life and in the lives of others in ways that will give me opportunity to express my love for them and my willingness to serve them in any way possible. I am rebuked by the Pharisee's angry denunciation of Jesus Christ because I would have been a better person if my church-going friends had been able to say about me, "He sits with sinners, and eats and drinks with them."
1/6/12 — Intemperance cuts us off from engaging completely in life and in the lives of other people. Overindulgence of anything serves to mar body and spirit, and stands as a barrier to forming and maintaining healthy relationships with the people around me The particular arena of compulsive activity — whether liquor, food, sodas, Facebook, exercise, religion — is not important. The loss of control and the subsequent harm to my relationships with the people I love represents an important defeat.
1/8/12 — The exaltation that comes from getting the best over another person through any act of vengeance or inappropriate competition is always fleeting. If I am trying to engage in life, my celebration over the downfall of another will be replaced by remorse; the satisfaction of squashing somebody quickly replaced by emptiness and continued bitterness towards the other person.
1/11/12 — I am becoming a forgiving individual and am instinctively and reflexively giving up my right to strike back at people for whatever harm they do to me. I do this whether or not people deserve my forgiveness. I can't be good for myself and good for Heaven's sake unless I am good for other people — even those who wish to be my enemies.
1/12/12 — Since coming to awareness of how the moral universe operates, I work diligently to keep things peaceable between me and other people. I am perfectly willing to seek forgiveness for situations that I really didn't create; more interested in establishing peace than in maintaining my honor or showing that I was right.
1/13/12 — One test for my humility is how well I handle humiliation that is directed towards myself. I'll attempt to learn something from a criticism without trying to judge whether or not the criticism is called-for. To the extent I can, I won't strike back even if someone falsely accuses me of something. Instead, I'll console myself with the fact that I have done much worse things than whatever they are accusing me of without getting caught.
1/15/12 — As part of my own coming to humility, I am trying never to be defensive about anything. That starts with my wife, but extends to my entire community of relatives, friends, and acquaintances.
1/16/12 — If I ever inadvertently hurt someone's feelings, I try not to defend myself by saying that I didn't mean to offend. Who cares whether I meant my remarks to be hurtful? Ignorance is no better than malice when it comes to doing other people harm. The only response appropriate to a humble spirit, in that case, is to say, "I am so sorry I said that. Will you accept my apology?" And mean it sincerely.
1/19/12 — My goal is to eliminate hard feelings of any sort towards any person — attempting with as much as in me lies, by the power of God, to conduct every relationship on a level of peace and service.

(Forcrist's Homepage)
Created by Don Huntington (don.huntington@gmail.com)
last modified: Mon, July 9, 2007)